I was on my way to work when it hit me. It's nothing new, but each time it feels overwhelming. Doubt. I have six days to submit my enrollment fee to guarantee my spot in the fall semester for my MBA program, and I'm not so sure it's the right thing to do.
My main purpose in getting my MBA is to teach at the college level. The more and more I look into it the more it seems that I will need at least a doctorate to teach. I keep asking myself if it's worth it. Can I even attain that before it changes yet again? How long will it take me to be able to do that?
My fears are overwhelming me. What will this do to me financially? How long will it take? Do I even have a shot at teaching? Do I even want to stay in accounting? Will teaching make me happy? What if I fail?
The last question is what is holding me back the most. I think I am just scared of trying something new. It's the unknown that is most frightening.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
When To Jump Ship
Last Thursday I took some time off work for an appointment. The appointment was a test for a potential job. I got there feeling excited and nervous. I walked into Civil Service and saw quite a few people waiting for the same test I was. Turns out that there were 38 other people applying for the same job I was. Most were older, a few seemed about my age, but all were determined to do their best for the one vacancy. The test wasn't quite what I expected. I didn't know quite a bit of it, but I pressed on. At the end of the test you could either wait for your test score or just leave. I waited. Out of 100 I got 56 correct. An F. Not what I hoped for but what I expected. For me it was better to know my score than having to wait until they finally emailed us with our rank, which still hasn't happened yet. I'm not counting on an interview, but you never know.
Today I went to work. I definitely wasn't looking forward to going. It's not a job I enjoy. I find myself dreading the work days. I keep looking for new jobs finding nothing. My biggest problem is finding something that pays comparatively but doesn't require a ton of experience. I find myself becoming depressed about work. I've talked to Jon before about working at REI and he didn't think I should do it. They still have openings and I'm wanting to do it. Promotional opportunities are there along with incentives and overtime opportunities. It does pay significantly less, but right now I'm ok with less if it means a better work place.
I'm just wanting to work some place else. I want to do something more with my life. I want a job that I love and people that are nice to work with. The question is when do I jump ship and what new boat will I board?
Today I went to work. I definitely wasn't looking forward to going. It's not a job I enjoy. I find myself dreading the work days. I keep looking for new jobs finding nothing. My biggest problem is finding something that pays comparatively but doesn't require a ton of experience. I find myself becoming depressed about work. I've talked to Jon before about working at REI and he didn't think I should do it. They still have openings and I'm wanting to do it. Promotional opportunities are there along with incentives and overtime opportunities. It does pay significantly less, but right now I'm ok with less if it means a better work place.
I'm just wanting to work some place else. I want to do something more with my life. I want a job that I love and people that are nice to work with. The question is when do I jump ship and what new boat will I board?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Possibilities
A couple weeks ago Jon and I were driving home from lunch with friends when he brought up his boss's condo. We had originally looked at the condo a year ago to see if it was a better deal to rent than the current apartment we are in. My first thoughts of the place were "that's ugly," referring to the outside of the building. It was an ok condo. It seemed a little bit smaller than our current apartment and not much cheaper. We ultimately passed on it. I couldn't justify paying $50 less a month when we get free cable and a few workout room at our current place.
Anyways, we were driving home when Jon mentioned Ryan (his boss) talking to him about renting the condo. Ryan had asked Jon if we would rent the condo for around $400 and Jon said probably not. Then Ryan asked Jon if the answer was still no even if the rent was $200. Jon said he didn't know for sure but probably not. When asked why he said because his wife thinks it's ugly. At the mention of $200 a month my eyes widened and my mouth dropped and I quickly told Jon that yes I would rent it for $200. I told him I could stand ugly if the price was right.
Once we got home we discussed the effects that renting at that price would have on us. We would save about $300-$400 a month depending upon whether we get cable and what our utilities are. These savings would immediately go towards our debt/savings plan resulting in us paying off all our debt (one credit card and student loans) at least a year sooner. That includes having enough in savings for our emergency fund (6 months worth of expenses) and enough for a 10% down payment on a house. Seeing those numbers made me ecstatic! I wanted to jump at it and move in. I asked Jon to find out if Ryan was serious about that price and if/when the current tenants would be moving out.
Hope fell when Jon returned with the answers a few days later. Ryan didn't know if the tenants were going to move out in September when their lease ended or if they were going to renew. This was a downer because our lease is up in June and if we knew for sure we could move into the condo in the fall, we would go to a month-to-month lease. However, at this point it looks like we will be renewing our lease for another six months. The second downer was Ryan wasn't serious about $200. He told Jon for us to think of how high we will go and he would talk to his wife about what they can afford. There's still the possibility he would go down that far, but right now it looks pretty slim.
I'm trying to stay optimistic while being realistic, but it's hard. I think of what we could do with additional savings and I get excited. But then I remember it's not a guarantee and even several months out before we know anything for sure. I guess the old adage is true: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. But there's still hope.
Anyways, we were driving home when Jon mentioned Ryan (his boss) talking to him about renting the condo. Ryan had asked Jon if we would rent the condo for around $400 and Jon said probably not. Then Ryan asked Jon if the answer was still no even if the rent was $200. Jon said he didn't know for sure but probably not. When asked why he said because his wife thinks it's ugly. At the mention of $200 a month my eyes widened and my mouth dropped and I quickly told Jon that yes I would rent it for $200. I told him I could stand ugly if the price was right.
Once we got home we discussed the effects that renting at that price would have on us. We would save about $300-$400 a month depending upon whether we get cable and what our utilities are. These savings would immediately go towards our debt/savings plan resulting in us paying off all our debt (one credit card and student loans) at least a year sooner. That includes having enough in savings for our emergency fund (6 months worth of expenses) and enough for a 10% down payment on a house. Seeing those numbers made me ecstatic! I wanted to jump at it and move in. I asked Jon to find out if Ryan was serious about that price and if/when the current tenants would be moving out.
Hope fell when Jon returned with the answers a few days later. Ryan didn't know if the tenants were going to move out in September when their lease ended or if they were going to renew. This was a downer because our lease is up in June and if we knew for sure we could move into the condo in the fall, we would go to a month-to-month lease. However, at this point it looks like we will be renewing our lease for another six months. The second downer was Ryan wasn't serious about $200. He told Jon for us to think of how high we will go and he would talk to his wife about what they can afford. There's still the possibility he would go down that far, but right now it looks pretty slim.
I'm trying to stay optimistic while being realistic, but it's hard. I think of what we could do with additional savings and I get excited. But then I remember it's not a guarantee and even several months out before we know anything for sure. I guess the old adage is true: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. But there's still hope.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Three Down, One To Go
Yesterday was a monumental day. Jon and I paid off another credit card! We had been working on paying off our debts since we got married. We paid two off in our first year of marriage and have now paid off a third! We currently only have one card left, with a balance of about $7,300. We haven't charged anything on it since we've been married; our honeymoon cruise was put on it.
It may not seem like a big deal to some, but to us it is a huge deal! The only debt aside from the one remaining credit card is our student loans, which in my opinion is good debt. Why is it good debt? First, we have low interest rates locked in. Second, that debt was needed to further our education, which in turn made us more valuable employees, giving us the potential to make more money.
Paying off debt isn't something that is done overnight. I've learned it takes a lot of patience and perseverance. I would love to wake up tomorrow and have no debt, but that isn't practical. Jon and I have made a budget and have been working hard to stay on it.
Another trick we learned is figuring out which bills are getting paid by which paycheck. For instance, Jon gets paid once a month and I get paid twice. His paycheck tends to pay our credit card debts, savings, and support for his parents. My first check (received on the 5th) pays our mid month bills - student loans, insurance, and our cell phone. My second check (received on the 20th) pays our beginning of the month bills - rent, tithing, utilities, and groceries. Once we get the check, we deposit it and in our ledger we immediately write the expenses down that it pays for - deposited on the fifth, bills dated 18th to 21st. This way we know our obligations are covered and we know what we have left to pay for gas and other expenses.
It has been a struggle sometimes to see how low our account gets, but it's also been a good way to trust God's provision. He hasn't let me down and He never will. I think of how much we have accomplished - we are paying more than minimum payments on our credit cards and we're putting money into savings. It's encouraging to see the debts go down and the savings go up.
We wouldn't have been able to do it without God. He has continually provided for us, usually above and beyond. When you let God be God, amazing things will happen.
It may not seem like a big deal to some, but to us it is a huge deal! The only debt aside from the one remaining credit card is our student loans, which in my opinion is good debt. Why is it good debt? First, we have low interest rates locked in. Second, that debt was needed to further our education, which in turn made us more valuable employees, giving us the potential to make more money.
Paying off debt isn't something that is done overnight. I've learned it takes a lot of patience and perseverance. I would love to wake up tomorrow and have no debt, but that isn't practical. Jon and I have made a budget and have been working hard to stay on it.
Another trick we learned is figuring out which bills are getting paid by which paycheck. For instance, Jon gets paid once a month and I get paid twice. His paycheck tends to pay our credit card debts, savings, and support for his parents. My first check (received on the 5th) pays our mid month bills - student loans, insurance, and our cell phone. My second check (received on the 20th) pays our beginning of the month bills - rent, tithing, utilities, and groceries. Once we get the check, we deposit it and in our ledger we immediately write the expenses down that it pays for - deposited on the fifth, bills dated 18th to 21st. This way we know our obligations are covered and we know what we have left to pay for gas and other expenses.
It has been a struggle sometimes to see how low our account gets, but it's also been a good way to trust God's provision. He hasn't let me down and He never will. I think of how much we have accomplished - we are paying more than minimum payments on our credit cards and we're putting money into savings. It's encouraging to see the debts go down and the savings go up.
We wouldn't have been able to do it without God. He has continually provided for us, usually above and beyond. When you let God be God, amazing things will happen.
Monday, February 15, 2010
The Issue of Trust
At the end of January Jon and I had a big fight. I was feeling stuck at a dead end job that I didn't like. I was upset about his job not paying what he deserves. I was stressed and unhappy. And I took it all out on him. I do that because I know that he will always love me. Plus he knows that when we're fighting it's not really about him but about a number of little things.
After talking quite a bit about what I was feeling, we discovered most of my fears were because of my lack of trust in God. It was hard to admit that. We talked a lot about the future and our financial position. I decided that it was time for me to start looking for a new job. I had decided that even if the job pays less, I should consider it because it would get me out of a job I don't like and into a job I could like.
Taking a job that would pay less would definitely be a big step for me in trust. I realized that I didn't need to make a lot of money. Jon and I are paying off our debt, putting money in savings, paying our bills on time, tithing at church, giving to missionaries, and still having some left over for a monthly date night. It was just a matter of really putting my trust in God and letting Him have control.
I have applied for a couple jobs - two at a bank, one for the county, and one for the US government. Personally I really like the idea of working for the US government for a couple reasons. First, there are opportunities for advancement. Second, the pay and benefits are great. Third, maybe it could lead to a political position one day. The government job closes tomorrow, and I'm really hoping to hear back from them.
I'm really ready to move on to a different job. I want a fresh start. I want to work with people I can tolerate. But ultimately it's not what I want, it's what God wants. Again it goes back to trusting Him with my life. This is one lesson I'm really struggling with. I need to rely on God and not myself.
After talking quite a bit about what I was feeling, we discovered most of my fears were because of my lack of trust in God. It was hard to admit that. We talked a lot about the future and our financial position. I decided that it was time for me to start looking for a new job. I had decided that even if the job pays less, I should consider it because it would get me out of a job I don't like and into a job I could like.
Taking a job that would pay less would definitely be a big step for me in trust. I realized that I didn't need to make a lot of money. Jon and I are paying off our debt, putting money in savings, paying our bills on time, tithing at church, giving to missionaries, and still having some left over for a monthly date night. It was just a matter of really putting my trust in God and letting Him have control.
I have applied for a couple jobs - two at a bank, one for the county, and one for the US government. Personally I really like the idea of working for the US government for a couple reasons. First, there are opportunities for advancement. Second, the pay and benefits are great. Third, maybe it could lead to a political position one day. The government job closes tomorrow, and I'm really hoping to hear back from them.
I'm really ready to move on to a different job. I want a fresh start. I want to work with people I can tolerate. But ultimately it's not what I want, it's what God wants. Again it goes back to trusting Him with my life. This is one lesson I'm really struggling with. I need to rely on God and not myself.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Changes
Most people aren't fans of change. For the most part, I would put myself in the category. I am very much a planner and planning relies a lot on stability.
Needless to say when Jon proposed we take him off my company's insurance and start putting money into an HSA, I was hesitant. I had become very comfortable paying about $400 a month for him to be on insurance knowing what kind of coverage he has. However, the math for an HSA was very convincing. Rather than pay $400 a month into insurance we would pay about $115 for a high-deductible plan and $250 into the HSA, a total of about $365 -- saving about $35. In addition, his company will match up to $250 a month or $3,000 a year. In addition, paying into an HSA allows us to control the money, and it is entitled to us regardless of whether we use it or not, unlike the money paid to an insurance company. Plus, the money rolls over from year to year so we don't lose it.
We've decided that once Jon goes to one final doctor's appointment and gets his inhalers we will take him off my insurance and start the HSA. It seems to make sense to have Jon on it since he doesn't require many doctor appointments or medications. I go monthly to get medication, plus my employer pays most of my insurance premiums. My only concern is if Jon suddenly gets hurt or sick and we don't have enough in HSA to pay for it. Hopefully we don't come to that point. I'm a little nervous about the decision, but I'm trusting God to provide our needs.
Needless to say when Jon proposed we take him off my company's insurance and start putting money into an HSA, I was hesitant. I had become very comfortable paying about $400 a month for him to be on insurance knowing what kind of coverage he has. However, the math for an HSA was very convincing. Rather than pay $400 a month into insurance we would pay about $115 for a high-deductible plan and $250 into the HSA, a total of about $365 -- saving about $35. In addition, his company will match up to $250 a month or $3,000 a year. In addition, paying into an HSA allows us to control the money, and it is entitled to us regardless of whether we use it or not, unlike the money paid to an insurance company. Plus, the money rolls over from year to year so we don't lose it.
We've decided that once Jon goes to one final doctor's appointment and gets his inhalers we will take him off my insurance and start the HSA. It seems to make sense to have Jon on it since he doesn't require many doctor appointments or medications. I go monthly to get medication, plus my employer pays most of my insurance premiums. My only concern is if Jon suddenly gets hurt or sick and we don't have enough in HSA to pay for it. Hopefully we don't come to that point. I'm a little nervous about the decision, but I'm trusting God to provide our needs.
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