Lifted Burden

The last couple months our money has been really tight. With the added dental expenses, money has been really tight. And of course, when money is tight, I tend to be more stressed. Being an accountant, I'm very financially minded. When thinking about vacations or dining out or even renting a movie, I think about our checkbook and budget and wonder how it will affect it.

Last night I was balancing the checkbook and showing Jon what I normally do to make sure everything matches and everything is paid. He asked some questions that allowed me to explain to him how the timing of my paychecks works and what they pay for. However, it was the bottom line that made me break down. We had less than $300 and we still needed to go grocery shopping, and I know my next paycheck is going to be significantly less because of some sick days.

Finally I told Jon a thought I had been having a lot recently. "I wish we could just wait a year before having a baby." As I said it I felt guilty. I don't want to put off having kids, but right now the pressure of debt and bills is strangling me. I told Jon my desire to have the credit cards paid off before having a baby and my worries about not having enough saved up for me to take maternity leave if we were to start a family soon. He really understood where I was coming from.

That amazing man agreed to wait another year. He doesn't want me to be more stressed and he knows that adding a baby to the mix would make me more stressed, which isn't good for me or a baby. I was so grateful he agreed to wait!

I know you shouldn't wait until you are financially secure to have a family, but even in a year we won't be, but we will have a little less debt. I think that if we didn't suddenly have these dental bills we would have continued with the plan to try for a baby, but an additional $1,500 puts a big damper on things.

The plus sides of waiting aside from the financial ones: we're planning on doing a Disneyland trip next year for our vacation and most likely none of my sister-in-laws will be pregnant. It's purely selfish reasons that I don't want them pregnant. I want to have all the attention, and I know right now my brother and his wife are trying to have their second kid, so if we had kept to the original plan to conceive soon, we'd probably be having our babies at the same time, something I don't want.

After we decided to wait one year, we prayed about our finances and future, and I felt a HUGE burden lift off my shoulders. I seriously feel less stressed and more relaxed. It's amazing how prayer can make a difference.