Last year I married a man I had dating for four years. We met after I graduated high school and started dating after knowing each other for only a couple weeks. We dated 3 years, were engaged for 1 year, and finally got married after I graduated college last year. It was a fun day!
This summer I have had several friends get married. Then they posted their pictures on Facebook, and I was jealous. I could tell several of them hired professional photographers. I hired a friend who was really good at photography, although it's not his career. I was supposed to have a former pastor do it, but his nephew got married the same weekend in California. I couldn't help but look at my friends' photos and be jealous. They were so amazing!
Jon and I got married at a camp. We had met at that camp, worked there, and ended up living there for 7 months after we were married. It was the perfect place for us. We had a lot of fun pictures -- swinging on swings, going up and down on a teeter-totter, sitting on the slide, and ringing the chapel bell.
My regret with pictures is that we didn't get a lot of group ones in places other than the gazebo my dad made and by the fence (with snow-capped mountains in the background). I wish we would have had a more ideas of what kind of pictures to do and where to do them. I wish we had discussed with our friend and showed him pictures of what we wanted. But all in all, I like our pictures. But there are some poses I would have also liked.
The next regret relates to our thank you cards. We never did them. Right after we got back, I started a new job and we were busy with the summer camp program. Jon was going to bed early because he worked 2 jobs. I wanted him to help me write them, so I used that an excuse for me to not do them. We finally got started on them in November, 6 months after we were married, but we never finished. We moved in December and tossed the cards we had written. Now it's too late to write them and mail them. I would feel like a schmuck. Besides, everyone except my grandma has probably forgot. Looking back now I wish I had just written the cards myself and mailed them right after we got back.
Another do-over I have is the guest list. I was so intent on inviting no more than 300 people, thinking they would all come. However, only about 1/3 of the people came. Looking back I should have invited all of my college friends instead of the few I did invite. I should have invited anyone and everyone. After all, there was more than enough food and who knows how many more gifts we would have received. :)
Those are just a couple do-overs I would make regarding our wedding. But, all in all, I am pleased with our wedding day. I got married to Jon, which was the whole point of the day, and my close family and friends were there.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Tick of the Clock
Since my discussion with Jon last night and our decision to start trying for a baby in December, I find myself constantly thinking about it. I've started researching maternity leave, researching child care, and even looking online at baby and parent stuff. I even went online to look at cribs and changing tables. I'm really excited for a baby.
Now my problem is waiting until December, or rather waiting until the pregnancy test comes out with a sign that a baby is on the way.
I really want to start looking at baby things and planning, but I don't want to get anyone's hopes up. Plus, it's a bit pre-mature considering we're not trying for another couple months. But I'm still excited about our decision. And yet, I can't tell anyone about it just yet. I would love to tell Dani or Jamie or my parents, but the time is just not right.
Why does it seem that when you're waiting for something, time ticks by slowly?
Now my problem is waiting until December, or rather waiting until the pregnancy test comes out with a sign that a baby is on the way.
I really want to start looking at baby things and planning, but I don't want to get anyone's hopes up. Plus, it's a bit pre-mature considering we're not trying for another couple months. But I'm still excited about our decision. And yet, I can't tell anyone about it just yet. I would love to tell Dani or Jamie or my parents, but the time is just not right.
Why does it seem that when you're waiting for something, time ticks by slowly?
December/January
Jon came home yesterday from a backpacking trip in Idaho. I was so excited he was home, but he had caught my cold, so he wasn't his usual self. However, I waited on him hand and foot making sure he had everything he needed. Later that evening I told him I want a baby.
We started discussing it seriously. I told him of my concerns about our debt and savings. I also told him that it would be best to have the baby born in September because then he will be home for the season during the baby's first couple months. He liked that idea, which means we need to try an conceive in December or January to have a fall baby. I'm really excited about that prospect.
I've been thinking about when would be the best time to conceive so we can announce it to everyone. I was hoping to know before the family Christmas gathering, but then we run the risk of having an August baby, which conflicts with Jon's backpacking season. I think the best time to do it would be to announce it at my birthday in January. That way I can choose who to invite to the party and announce it to my family and close friends. I'm already thinking about who will be at the party.
I know it's only 3 months away until we start trying for a baby, but I'm really excited (and a little nervous). I'm just hoping the money situation works out.
I'm trying to think about when would be the best amount of maternity leave for me. Personally I would love to take the 3 months allowed by the law, but I don't think I could do that if it wasn't paid. We're planning on having about $6,500 set aside in savings to cover a little more than 3 months worth of expenses, in case I don't get any paid leave. I doubt my boss is going to give me paid maternity leave, but it doesn't hurt to ask. I will have a week of paid vacation I can use if there isn't any. (Please pray that I get at least 1 month paid leave!)
I've been considering how to keep up with my workload during those 3 months. Maybe what I can do is arrange with Jon to take one day off during the week to stay at home with the baby, so I can go to work for a day to get some stuff done. Also, maybe I can arrange to do some work at home, such as the financials. All I would have to do is get Internet at home and get access to Yardi (which is Internet based) and my email. The email isn't as important either, just Yardi. I would just come in once a week and grab a few of the binders to take home with me. Most likely they won't let me do that option, but I can always ask. I really think the one day a week idea will work. If I need to come in more, I could just bring the baby in with me on a Saturday and work. That way there are less people in the office (if any), and I can be here to get some work done.
The next thing to consider is day care. Unfortunately, Jon doesn't make enough for me to be a stay-at-home mom, so I'm going to have to work at least part time to help supplement our income. Fortunately, my supervisor already told me she would be willing to let me work part time (she doesn't want to lose me). But then I have to consider where to take my baby for day care. I need something affordable but good. I've considered those KinderCare Learning Center, mostly because there is one on my way to work and they tend to be more educationally driven, which is something I like. But I guess I will do more research later.
I'm so excited! Can't you tell?!
We started discussing it seriously. I told him of my concerns about our debt and savings. I also told him that it would be best to have the baby born in September because then he will be home for the season during the baby's first couple months. He liked that idea, which means we need to try an conceive in December or January to have a fall baby. I'm really excited about that prospect.
I've been thinking about when would be the best time to conceive so we can announce it to everyone. I was hoping to know before the family Christmas gathering, but then we run the risk of having an August baby, which conflicts with Jon's backpacking season. I think the best time to do it would be to announce it at my birthday in January. That way I can choose who to invite to the party and announce it to my family and close friends. I'm already thinking about who will be at the party.
I know it's only 3 months away until we start trying for a baby, but I'm really excited (and a little nervous). I'm just hoping the money situation works out.
I'm trying to think about when would be the best amount of maternity leave for me. Personally I would love to take the 3 months allowed by the law, but I don't think I could do that if it wasn't paid. We're planning on having about $6,500 set aside in savings to cover a little more than 3 months worth of expenses, in case I don't get any paid leave. I doubt my boss is going to give me paid maternity leave, but it doesn't hurt to ask. I will have a week of paid vacation I can use if there isn't any. (Please pray that I get at least 1 month paid leave!)
I've been considering how to keep up with my workload during those 3 months. Maybe what I can do is arrange with Jon to take one day off during the week to stay at home with the baby, so I can go to work for a day to get some stuff done. Also, maybe I can arrange to do some work at home, such as the financials. All I would have to do is get Internet at home and get access to Yardi (which is Internet based) and my email. The email isn't as important either, just Yardi. I would just come in once a week and grab a few of the binders to take home with me. Most likely they won't let me do that option, but I can always ask. I really think the one day a week idea will work. If I need to come in more, I could just bring the baby in with me on a Saturday and work. That way there are less people in the office (if any), and I can be here to get some work done.
The next thing to consider is day care. Unfortunately, Jon doesn't make enough for me to be a stay-at-home mom, so I'm going to have to work at least part time to help supplement our income. Fortunately, my supervisor already told me she would be willing to let me work part time (she doesn't want to lose me). But then I have to consider where to take my baby for day care. I need something affordable but good. I've considered those KinderCare Learning Center, mostly because there is one on my way to work and they tend to be more educationally driven, which is something I like. But I guess I will do more research later.
I'm so excited! Can't you tell?!
Friday, September 25, 2009
A Baby, A House, and A Dog.
I got it into my head when I was a kid that someday I wanted to own a house, have a dog, and have a baby. Of course, I knew I had to be older and married to get all three. Well, I'm married now and I don't have any of those things.
The next thing is a house. Our goal is to pay off our debt and start drastically saving for a down payment. By drastic, I mean saving about $1,000 a month until we get enough for a down payment and still have some money in savings for emergencies. I've realized that most likely our first baby is going to come while we still live in an apartment. Fortunately, our one bedroom apartment has a den that we can use as a baby room. I would have to move the desk, filing cabinets, and my sewing stuff elsewhere, but it's doable. I just wish it were possible to have a house bought before a baby is born.
The advantages of having a house after the baby is born is that we will probably have downsized some of our items to accommodate the baby. Plus, I will be making less money (I will be working part time), and we will be better able to determine what we really can afford. I have my heart set on a one-acre parcel a few blocks from our apartment. It's on the market for $70,000, but it was last assessed at $47,500, which will allow for a better bargaining chip. We've decided that we want to buy a piece of land, at least an acre big, and put a manufactured home on it. Then later in life we will build the "dream house" on one half of it. I grew up on an acre parcel so smaller parcels are too small for my preferences. While I still want that certain parcel, we plan on talking to a realtor and having him or her find exactly what we want for exactly the right price.
A Dog:
Aside from a house and a baby, a dog is next on my life. Actually, 2 dogs, and not just any dog, but a Siberian Husky. I had one growing up and I've always loved that breed of dog. I also had an Alaskan Malamute, but those tend to run at least $300 more for one puppy. I want a puppy so I can train them young to obey my commands. I want two unrelated puppies, one male and one female, so I can have puppies. Selling puppies would allow us a little extra income too. However, I don't want inside dogs; they will be outside dogs. And since our current living situation is in an apartment, we won't be getting pups until we have a house. And even when that happens we probably won't get puppies until all the kids are born and our good-sized kennel is built.
While I don't have a house, a dog, or a baby, I don't consider myself a failure. I know that some day I will have all 3. It may take a while to get them all, but I will still be happy with where I am at in life. I may not like my job, but I love Jon, I love Spokane, I love my church and serving there, and I love being the favorite aunt to many nieces and nephews. I know that in time I will have a baby, a house, and a dog. It's just a matter of waiting.
A Baby:
I've always been a planner. I plan my birthday party a month or two in advance. I plan how I will spend each day. I plan what meals I'm making on which day. I plan everything. When I started dating Jon, I decided I wanted to wait 4 years after we were married to have kids. That has since changed.
First I did the math and realized I would be 26 if I waited 4 years, and I would be over 30 by the time the 4 kids I want are born. Second, I changed. I want kids sooner. It could be that my brothers are having kids recently -- one on Christmas and another one due for a different brother in March. Regardless of what exactly made me change my mind, it changed.
Jon and I discussed trying to time our baby to come during the part of the year when his job is less demanding -- September to February. That means conception time is from December to May. However, right now it's September, and I keep wishing I were pregnant. Part of me thinks how easily it would be to "forget" to take my pill, but the practical part of me thinks I need to wait until the timing is right. So wait I must, but maybe for only a couple months. I'm really liking the idea of getting pregnant in December, announcing it at Christmas, and having the baby born in September. This way Jon's busy season will be over for the most part and he will be able to spend more time at home with me and the baby. If the baby is born in February, Jon's rafting season starts in March and he will be busy and not home much.
The only worry I have is our credit card debt. Right now if we keep to our scheduled payment plan, we will have it paid off by September, hence my reason to wait a little longer to conceive. But, I'm hoping that my Christmas bonus and our tax return will be large enough to decrease that time frame, but we'll have to wait and see. Most likely we won't conceive until February, just to allow a little time for debt to be paid off and to ensure Jon will be home in case the baby comes early.
A House:
The next thing is a house. Our goal is to pay off our debt and start drastically saving for a down payment. By drastic, I mean saving about $1,000 a month until we get enough for a down payment and still have some money in savings for emergencies. I've realized that most likely our first baby is going to come while we still live in an apartment. Fortunately, our one bedroom apartment has a den that we can use as a baby room. I would have to move the desk, filing cabinets, and my sewing stuff elsewhere, but it's doable. I just wish it were possible to have a house bought before a baby is born.
The advantages of having a house after the baby is born is that we will probably have downsized some of our items to accommodate the baby. Plus, I will be making less money (I will be working part time), and we will be better able to determine what we really can afford. I have my heart set on a one-acre parcel a few blocks from our apartment. It's on the market for $70,000, but it was last assessed at $47,500, which will allow for a better bargaining chip. We've decided that we want to buy a piece of land, at least an acre big, and put a manufactured home on it. Then later in life we will build the "dream house" on one half of it. I grew up on an acre parcel so smaller parcels are too small for my preferences. While I still want that certain parcel, we plan on talking to a realtor and having him or her find exactly what we want for exactly the right price.
A Dog:
Aside from a house and a baby, a dog is next on my life. Actually, 2 dogs, and not just any dog, but a Siberian Husky. I had one growing up and I've always loved that breed of dog. I also had an Alaskan Malamute, but those tend to run at least $300 more for one puppy. I want a puppy so I can train them young to obey my commands. I want two unrelated puppies, one male and one female, so I can have puppies. Selling puppies would allow us a little extra income too. However, I don't want inside dogs; they will be outside dogs. And since our current living situation is in an apartment, we won't be getting pups until we have a house. And even when that happens we probably won't get puppies until all the kids are born and our good-sized kennel is built.
While I don't have a house, a dog, or a baby, I don't consider myself a failure. I know that some day I will have all 3. It may take a while to get them all, but I will still be happy with where I am at in life. I may not like my job, but I love Jon, I love Spokane, I love my church and serving there, and I love being the favorite aunt to many nieces and nephews. I know that in time I will have a baby, a house, and a dog. It's just a matter of waiting.
Monday, September 21, 2009
What To Do, Oh, What To Do?
Today I returned to work after a week long vacation in beautiful Banff, Alberta. The vacation was wonderful! Camping, hiking, sightseeing, and just enjoying time with my husband. It was a great trip. However, like most vacations, the time came that it was over and I had to return to work.
Today is my first day back after vacation, and I'm already bored. I got caught up on emails and social websites. Still bored. I have things I'm working on, but I find myself getting completely bored with it. I started thinking yet again about finding a different job. My work doesn't interest me. I find myself getting bored with it. Plus I feel under utilized and under paid. I'm not a CPA, but I have an accounting degree, and I feel that my job is a step down from a degree, something I could have done as a freshman in college.
I've run into this small wall over and over again. Maybe this time I should climb up, survey my options, and look for a new job to jump into. I know I'm not happy here, but I know Jon wouldn't be too pleased about me getting a new job, mostly because we plan to start trying for a family soon and my supervisor already told me I can work part time for her. Jon wants me to stick it out, gain experience for a while, and then after a while go for a different job. But he wants me here until our kids are all born. I understand the wisdom in that, but at the same time, I don't like it here.
What to do, oh, what to do?
Today is my first day back after vacation, and I'm already bored. I got caught up on emails and social websites. Still bored. I have things I'm working on, but I find myself getting completely bored with it. I started thinking yet again about finding a different job. My work doesn't interest me. I find myself getting bored with it. Plus I feel under utilized and under paid. I'm not a CPA, but I have an accounting degree, and I feel that my job is a step down from a degree, something I could have done as a freshman in college.
I've run into this small wall over and over again. Maybe this time I should climb up, survey my options, and look for a new job to jump into. I know I'm not happy here, but I know Jon wouldn't be too pleased about me getting a new job, mostly because we plan to start trying for a family soon and my supervisor already told me I can work part time for her. Jon wants me to stick it out, gain experience for a while, and then after a while go for a different job. But he wants me here until our kids are all born. I understand the wisdom in that, but at the same time, I don't like it here.
What to do, oh, what to do?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Thinking of Kids Yet Again
It seems like my mind is constantly thinking of kids and money. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe it's time for me to have a baby.
I had another meltdown yesterday. I was watching a movie with Jon thinking about kids and how I am going to have to work when we have kids. Like I've said before, Jon doesn't make enough to support just the two of us with his paycheck. It's so discouraging. I know I want to have a family and I want to be a stay at home mom, at least until they are in school all day. It just makes me so sad knowing that isn't an option for us. I don't even have family close by who can help watch the kids, so they will have to be in day care.
We discussed when to have our baby. We want to time it so the baby isn't born during rafting or backpacking season. That means we have to conceive between the months of December and May. We're planning on conceiving this next year. At first it kind of freaked me out to think that in 8 months I will be pregnant. (We're planning for a May conception.) I want to conceive in May, mostly because then we will have a few months to finish paying off our debts and get some money set aside. However, right now I'm thinking it might be nice to be pregnant in December and have a baby next year in September. The only problem I see with that is that we may not have our credit cards all paid off and money set aside. Most likely it will be next spring that we will start a family.
I'm a little scared. I know that once it happens there is no turning back. I also know that it will require a GREAT deal of trust in God to supply our income. I'm nervous about physically having a baby. I know it's going to hurt, but I know it's part of the process. I'm planning on asking Dani if I can be in the room while she's having her baby so I'm a little more familiar with the process.
I've been praying a lot about this situation. Please pray for me too.
I had another meltdown yesterday. I was watching a movie with Jon thinking about kids and how I am going to have to work when we have kids. Like I've said before, Jon doesn't make enough to support just the two of us with his paycheck. It's so discouraging. I know I want to have a family and I want to be a stay at home mom, at least until they are in school all day. It just makes me so sad knowing that isn't an option for us. I don't even have family close by who can help watch the kids, so they will have to be in day care.
We discussed when to have our baby. We want to time it so the baby isn't born during rafting or backpacking season. That means we have to conceive between the months of December and May. We're planning on conceiving this next year. At first it kind of freaked me out to think that in 8 months I will be pregnant. (We're planning for a May conception.) I want to conceive in May, mostly because then we will have a few months to finish paying off our debts and get some money set aside. However, right now I'm thinking it might be nice to be pregnant in December and have a baby next year in September. The only problem I see with that is that we may not have our credit cards all paid off and money set aside. Most likely it will be next spring that we will start a family.
I'm a little scared. I know that once it happens there is no turning back. I also know that it will require a GREAT deal of trust in God to supply our income. I'm nervous about physically having a baby. I know it's going to hurt, but I know it's part of the process. I'm planning on asking Dani if I can be in the room while she's having her baby so I'm a little more familiar with the process.
I've been praying a lot about this situation. Please pray for me too.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Thinking of Kids
The thought came like it has come several times in the past. "I want to have a baby." I'm not even sure what triggered it. It might have been my book. It had mentioned a couple trying to have a baby unsuccessfully and another couple's boy being caught on a bridge when it broke in flood waters. Despite the trigger, I stood up with a downcast face. My husband recognized the face and asked what was wrong.
"I want to have a baby, but we can't." The "can't" is due to the fact that I don't want to have a baby until our credit cards are paid off, which should be next year. The reason is because I want as little payment obligations as possible because once we have the baby, I'm down to working part time instead of full time. (Unfortunately my husband doesn't make enough money to support us on his paycheck alone -- but at least he loves his job and I'd rather have that than a lot of money.)
Lately I've been wishing for a sudden influx of money. My dream would be $70,000. We have about $66,000 in debt, so the extra 4 would go towards our savings. Most likely that won't happen, but I can still hope. Having our debt completely paid off would free up so many options. I could have a baby and not be as stressed about money. We could save for a house sooner. Both are things I really want.
Every time these thoughts pass through my mind I start doing the math yet again, even though I know the outcome. I calculate all the payments we have to make -- student loans, rent, utilities, insurance, phone, gas, groceries, credit cards, and tithing -- and then the income we need. Every time I look at the numbers I get discouraged. I look at my debt repayment plan I made and see how long it's going to take to pay off our debts, and I get discouraged. A big part of me just wants to erase the debt payments and go from there, but the likelihood of that is slim to none.
Jon and I have been told by someone wise, Jack Moyer, to not wait until you're financially stable to have kids because you'll never be there. That thought constantly pops into my head; I only want our credit cards paid off, not all our debts or a certain amount in savings before we have kids.
It seems that everything always filters back to money. I guess because my brain is financially wired, these things always flow down to the money. I need to work on trusting God more with my finances. Everything I have, I have because of Him, and really it doesn't belong to me, but to him. I'm just managing it.
"I want to have a baby, but we can't." The "can't" is due to the fact that I don't want to have a baby until our credit cards are paid off, which should be next year. The reason is because I want as little payment obligations as possible because once we have the baby, I'm down to working part time instead of full time. (Unfortunately my husband doesn't make enough money to support us on his paycheck alone -- but at least he loves his job and I'd rather have that than a lot of money.)
Lately I've been wishing for a sudden influx of money. My dream would be $70,000. We have about $66,000 in debt, so the extra 4 would go towards our savings. Most likely that won't happen, but I can still hope. Having our debt completely paid off would free up so many options. I could have a baby and not be as stressed about money. We could save for a house sooner. Both are things I really want.
Every time these thoughts pass through my mind I start doing the math yet again, even though I know the outcome. I calculate all the payments we have to make -- student loans, rent, utilities, insurance, phone, gas, groceries, credit cards, and tithing -- and then the income we need. Every time I look at the numbers I get discouraged. I look at my debt repayment plan I made and see how long it's going to take to pay off our debts, and I get discouraged. A big part of me just wants to erase the debt payments and go from there, but the likelihood of that is slim to none.
Jon and I have been told by someone wise, Jack Moyer, to not wait until you're financially stable to have kids because you'll never be there. That thought constantly pops into my head; I only want our credit cards paid off, not all our debts or a certain amount in savings before we have kids.
It seems that everything always filters back to money. I guess because my brain is financially wired, these things always flow down to the money. I need to work on trusting God more with my finances. Everything I have, I have because of Him, and really it doesn't belong to me, but to him. I'm just managing it.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Future
I can't even begin to count the number of times I sit around thinking of the future. When will my debts be paid off? When will I get to buy a house? Where will the house be? When should I have children? What if I wait too long to have kids? Is this the job I'm going to have for a long time? What does my future hold for me?
I'm sure most people have had thoughts along the same lines. I keep having the same thoughts run through my mind over and over again. The money questions come when the checkbook is showing a smaller number than I want. The kid questions come whenever someone asks me when are Jon and I going to have kids or when I see a baby or a pregnant woman. The job questions come usually on Mondays or when I'm working on something particularly boring.
The uncertainty of the future can be overwhelming, but then I think, if I knew everything, where would the excitement be?
I'm a planner. Always has been, always will be. I like to know the what, when, and where of a vacation. I like to know when my debts will be paid off if I stick to a certain payment plan. I like to know when things are going to happen or what I will be doing. I don't plan every second, minute, or hour of my day, but I like to have a general idea; however, I am open to spontaneity.
The purpose of starting this blog is for me to write out my dreams, worries, and ideas, keeping in mind that you never know when God's going to throw you a curve ball and change the outcome of the game.
I'm sure most people have had thoughts along the same lines. I keep having the same thoughts run through my mind over and over again. The money questions come when the checkbook is showing a smaller number than I want. The kid questions come whenever someone asks me when are Jon and I going to have kids or when I see a baby or a pregnant woman. The job questions come usually on Mondays or when I'm working on something particularly boring.
The uncertainty of the future can be overwhelming, but then I think, if I knew everything, where would the excitement be?
I'm a planner. Always has been, always will be. I like to know the what, when, and where of a vacation. I like to know when my debts will be paid off if I stick to a certain payment plan. I like to know when things are going to happen or what I will be doing. I don't plan every second, minute, or hour of my day, but I like to have a general idea; however, I am open to spontaneity.
The purpose of starting this blog is for me to write out my dreams, worries, and ideas, keeping in mind that you never know when God's going to throw you a curve ball and change the outcome of the game.
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