It seems like my mind is constantly thinking of kids and money. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe it's time for me to have a baby.
I had another meltdown yesterday. I was watching a movie with Jon thinking about kids and how I am going to have to work when we have kids. Like I've said before, Jon doesn't make enough to support just the two of us with his paycheck. It's so discouraging. I know I want to have a family and I want to be a stay at home mom, at least until they are in school all day. It just makes me so sad knowing that isn't an option for us. I don't even have family close by who can help watch the kids, so they will have to be in day care.
We discussed when to have our baby. We want to time it so the baby isn't born during rafting or backpacking season. That means we have to conceive between the months of December and May. We're planning on conceiving this next year. At first it kind of freaked me out to think that in 8 months I will be pregnant. (We're planning for a May conception.) I want to conceive in May, mostly because then we will have a few months to finish paying off our debts and get some money set aside. However, right now I'm thinking it might be nice to be pregnant in December and have a baby next year in September. The only problem I see with that is that we may not have our credit cards all paid off and money set aside. Most likely it will be next spring that we will start a family.
I'm a little scared. I know that once it happens there is no turning back. I also know that it will require a GREAT deal of trust in God to supply our income. I'm nervous about physically having a baby. I know it's going to hurt, but I know it's part of the process. I'm planning on asking Dani if I can be in the room while she's having her baby so I'm a little more familiar with the process.
I've been praying a lot about this situation. Please pray for me too.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment