Not Where I Thought I'd Be

Growing up I have always defined myself as the smart, athletic girl who gets straight A's. In elementary and junior high I pushed myself to be the smart one in the class, though I definitely wasn't the smartest one. I have defined myself according to success -- which chair in jazz band I was, how I did in cross-country and track races, what I was ranked academically, which clubs I was in, and which clubs I held office in. That's who I was and how I measured my success, mostly by comparing myself to others.

In college I had heard of several people going off to college with a certain major in mind and eventually changing it once, twice, or several times. I didn't want to be that person I decided. I wanted to put my mind to something and not change it. That tends to be my downfall. It put me in a career that doesn't satisfy me.

When I was in junior high, I developed a passion for designing houses. I had fun designing houses. Granted at that point I wasn't too creative or using realistic dimensions. In high school I began experimenting with it. I thought it would be fun to take a unique shape, like the letter R, and design a house within that. It made for some fun angles. It was not realistic, but I looked at it as a challenge. Progressively I got better and more realistic. It was a fun hobby for me. I sketched house plans throughout college and even up to a few months ago. I even designed some houses that I want built. It was something I did for fun. Looking back I wish I had gone into architecture. It was something I really enjoyed and felt like I was good at it. But it's not what I'm doing for a career.

My sophomore year of high school I was scheduling my junior year classes and needed a year long class. I decided to take accounting. I'm not sure if I chose it because it was at the top of the list or if I was really interested in it. Needless to say, I ended up in the class. I ended up really enjoying the class. It was fun to take checks and deposits and keep track of it on the books. It was like a challenge to come up with the correct ending number. I'm not sure if it because it was junior year and we were discussing college a lot or what, but I got it into my head that accounting is what I wanted to do with my life. Plus, my teacher kept bringing up the salary a CPA makes and it sounded nice.

I stood by that decision all through college and I graduated with a degree in accounting. I definitely had a talent for it. It seemed to come naturally to me and I did well at it. I certainly didn't push myself to be the best I could be, but I still did well. I did change one thought. I decided I didn't want to be a CPA. I worked for 2 years at a CPA firm and did not like it. Eventually I might change my mind but for now I don't want that career.

I landed my first job as an Accounts Payable Specialist. It wasn't the job I had applied for, but the company that I interviewed with still wanted me on staff. I took it. I learned the basics and did well for myself. I had everything down pat. I was even given a few projects. However, I never felt truly happy or challenged.

A job change for my husband meant a move to Spokane. A coworker at my first job hooked me up with a contact that hired me for an Accounting Assistant position. It sounded like it would be a promising job. My supervisor seemed nice. The work seemed like it would be good. After I got the hang of things I realized how easy the work was. The challenge left and I was left feeling like I should get a different job.

My supervisor wasn't as pleasant as she appeared. She was constantly swearing and complaining. The work was easy and quickly finished. Several times I sat around wondering how I would keep busy. A project I was supposed to start in June didn't get started until August. Once I figured that out though, work became easy again. I was unchallenged yet again. I honestly feel like I could do more with my accounting degree and that the job I'm at is a step down.

I've considered getting a new job. I've considered going back to school. However, my desire for a family, a home, and a debt-free life sidelined all that. Jon and I want to start a family soon and since money is needed to feed and clothe a baby and us, I have to work. Fortunately my supervisor told me she would be fine with me working part time. I don't know if any other employer would be as flexible and right now I'm not willing to risk it.

My career isn't exactly what I want it to be. Maybe once my kids are older I will have figured it out and changed it. I certainly don't plan on staying at this job for my career. It's just a matter of waiting to see what's available and what curve balls life throws.