The last time I wrote I was freaking out about money (which seems to be a regular occurrence). Life has settled down in that regards. God definitely came through for me. Just when our checkbook reached about $30 and our savings $50, we received a sudden influx of cash. I received a bonus check at my work and Jon also received one!
The day I got my bonus check was the day payroll found out we would be getting one. My boss had to move money around in order to make that happen. In addition, Jon got a check we weren't expecting. He had already received a bonus check in September for an end of the season check, so I wasn't expecting a Christmas bonus too! It was definitely a God-thing.
Once the checks arrived we immediately began discussing the best way to use them. We used about half of mine to put towards our dental bills and we're planning on using most, if not all, of Jon's check to pay down a credit card. Right now I'm holding off on paying it because we are going to visit Jon's parents for Christmas and I want to make sure our expenses hold up. It's exciting to see our debt shrink. I'm looking forward to seeing one of our credit cards almost paid off. Once that's paid off we only have one left to pay off! I'm excited to see how God is working and helping us out.
Now I just need to remember to keep praying about our finances and God's continued provision. When people are doing ok, they tend to rely on themselves more and on God less; I need to avoid that because I know in an instant it could all be gone.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Dental Bills and Part Time Jobs
In October Jon and I went to the dentist for a check up. Jon hadn't been to a dentist in 5 years and I haven't been in 4 years. Needless to say, cavities were present in both of us. Our insurance covers 100% of our preventative check ups and about 80% of cavity work. However, our portion ended up at about $1,200. We don't have that kind of money lying around unfortunately, so we had to set up a payment plan.
The increase in money going out startled me, particularly because the money come in has decrease slightly. I began to feel the pinch of it all. We have credit cards bills to pay, student loans, rent, groceries, gas, insurance, phone bills, and utility bills. I watched as our checking account dropped lower and lower. I watched our small savings drop even lower as we transferred money to pay bills. We're struggling, living paycheck to paycheck, something I've never wanted to do.
It's been so bad lately that Jon and I won't be exchanging gifts. I had already bought gifts for our nieces and nephews (spending less than $10 per kid). We are waiting to buy something for our parents, hoping I get a Christmas bonus. I feel like I'm ruining Jon's Christmas. I know Christmas is not about gifts, it's about Jesus being born to come save the world, but I still feel like I'm letting Jon down. I love buying gifts for people and not getting something for Jon is breaking my heart.
There is the chance I could get a Christmas bonus. Last year the staff got one, so I'm assuming this year we might get one, but with the economy as it is, I wonder if it will really happen. I'm hoping and praying because we need help with our dental bills.
Money is so tight I've been considering getting a part time job. I already work a full time job, but could squeeze in a few hours in the mornings or evenings or weekends to bring in a few extra dollars. I've been considering Starbucks or REI. My only concern is that I will be in western Washington Christmas Eve till the Sunday after Christmas, and most likely REI would want me to work during the busy Christmas weekend, which I can't do. Hopefully Starbucks will consider hiring me despite my hectic schedule.
The increase in money going out startled me, particularly because the money come in has decrease slightly. I began to feel the pinch of it all. We have credit cards bills to pay, student loans, rent, groceries, gas, insurance, phone bills, and utility bills. I watched as our checking account dropped lower and lower. I watched our small savings drop even lower as we transferred money to pay bills. We're struggling, living paycheck to paycheck, something I've never wanted to do.
It's been so bad lately that Jon and I won't be exchanging gifts. I had already bought gifts for our nieces and nephews (spending less than $10 per kid). We are waiting to buy something for our parents, hoping I get a Christmas bonus. I feel like I'm ruining Jon's Christmas. I know Christmas is not about gifts, it's about Jesus being born to come save the world, but I still feel like I'm letting Jon down. I love buying gifts for people and not getting something for Jon is breaking my heart.
There is the chance I could get a Christmas bonus. Last year the staff got one, so I'm assuming this year we might get one, but with the economy as it is, I wonder if it will really happen. I'm hoping and praying because we need help with our dental bills.
Money is so tight I've been considering getting a part time job. I already work a full time job, but could squeeze in a few hours in the mornings or evenings or weekends to bring in a few extra dollars. I've been considering Starbucks or REI. My only concern is that I will be in western Washington Christmas Eve till the Sunday after Christmas, and most likely REI would want me to work during the busy Christmas weekend, which I can't do. Hopefully Starbucks will consider hiring me despite my hectic schedule.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Lifted Burden
The last couple months our money has been really tight. With the added dental expenses, money has been really tight. And of course, when money is tight, I tend to be more stressed. Being an accountant, I'm very financially minded. When thinking about vacations or dining out or even renting a movie, I think about our checkbook and budget and wonder how it will affect it.
Last night I was balancing the checkbook and showing Jon what I normally do to make sure everything matches and everything is paid. He asked some questions that allowed me to explain to him how the timing of my paychecks works and what they pay for. However, it was the bottom line that made me break down. We had less than $300 and we still needed to go grocery shopping, and I know my next paycheck is going to be significantly less because of some sick days.
Finally I told Jon a thought I had been having a lot recently. "I wish we could just wait a year before having a baby." As I said it I felt guilty. I don't want to put off having kids, but right now the pressure of debt and bills is strangling me. I told Jon my desire to have the credit cards paid off before having a baby and my worries about not having enough saved up for me to take maternity leave if we were to start a family soon. He really understood where I was coming from.
That amazing man agreed to wait another year. He doesn't want me to be more stressed and he knows that adding a baby to the mix would make me more stressed, which isn't good for me or a baby. I was so grateful he agreed to wait!
I know you shouldn't wait until you are financially secure to have a family, but even in a year we won't be, but we will have a little less debt. I think that if we didn't suddenly have these dental bills we would have continued with the plan to try for a baby, but an additional $1,500 puts a big damper on things.
The plus sides of waiting aside from the financial ones: we're planning on doing a Disneyland trip next year for our vacation and most likely none of my sister-in-laws will be pregnant. It's purely selfish reasons that I don't want them pregnant. I want to have all the attention, and I know right now my brother and his wife are trying to have their second kid, so if we had kept to the original plan to conceive soon, we'd probably be having our babies at the same time, something I don't want.
After we decided to wait one year, we prayed about our finances and future, and I felt a HUGE burden lift off my shoulders. I seriously feel less stressed and more relaxed. It's amazing how prayer can make a difference.
Last night I was balancing the checkbook and showing Jon what I normally do to make sure everything matches and everything is paid. He asked some questions that allowed me to explain to him how the timing of my paychecks works and what they pay for. However, it was the bottom line that made me break down. We had less than $300 and we still needed to go grocery shopping, and I know my next paycheck is going to be significantly less because of some sick days.
Finally I told Jon a thought I had been having a lot recently. "I wish we could just wait a year before having a baby." As I said it I felt guilty. I don't want to put off having kids, but right now the pressure of debt and bills is strangling me. I told Jon my desire to have the credit cards paid off before having a baby and my worries about not having enough saved up for me to take maternity leave if we were to start a family soon. He really understood where I was coming from.
That amazing man agreed to wait another year. He doesn't want me to be more stressed and he knows that adding a baby to the mix would make me more stressed, which isn't good for me or a baby. I was so grateful he agreed to wait!
I know you shouldn't wait until you are financially secure to have a family, but even in a year we won't be, but we will have a little less debt. I think that if we didn't suddenly have these dental bills we would have continued with the plan to try for a baby, but an additional $1,500 puts a big damper on things.
The plus sides of waiting aside from the financial ones: we're planning on doing a Disneyland trip next year for our vacation and most likely none of my sister-in-laws will be pregnant. It's purely selfish reasons that I don't want them pregnant. I want to have all the attention, and I know right now my brother and his wife are trying to have their second kid, so if we had kept to the original plan to conceive soon, we'd probably be having our babies at the same time, something I don't want.
After we decided to wait one year, we prayed about our finances and future, and I felt a HUGE burden lift off my shoulders. I seriously feel less stressed and more relaxed. It's amazing how prayer can make a difference.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Appointments & Money
I made an appointment the other day to see my nurse practitioner regarding what I need to do to prepare for getting pregnant. I'm a little nervous, but it's a good thing for me to do. After all, she did tell me to come see her around that time to discuss starting prenatal vitamins before I'm pregnant.
It's so amazing how fast time is going! Already October is almost over. This month has been an expensive month for us. We had the shock of finding out how much our dental bills were going to be and we had spent more on dining out than we anticipated. This next month after all our regular bills are paid we're going to sit down and go over our expenses and see how to best handle our money for the month. It's nice to be able to do that and I was happy that it was Jon that suggested doing that. It's nice to have him on the same page. Now it's just a matter of us cracking down and not spending money we shouldn't be spending, particularly when it comes to dining out.
It's so amazing how fast time is going! Already October is almost over. This month has been an expensive month for us. We had the shock of finding out how much our dental bills were going to be and we had spent more on dining out than we anticipated. This next month after all our regular bills are paid we're going to sit down and go over our expenses and see how to best handle our money for the month. It's nice to be able to do that and I was happy that it was Jon that suggested doing that. It's nice to have him on the same page. Now it's just a matter of us cracking down and not spending money we shouldn't be spending, particularly when it comes to dining out.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Counting Down The Days
It seems my world has been surrounded by babies or pregnant women. A coworker is pregnant, a sister-in-law is pregnant, another sister-in-law is trying to get pregnant, and several friends have recently had babies.
Jon and I decided that in December we would start trying for a baby. I keep looking at the date, counting down until the time we can start. I'm a little nervous. I still have to schedule an appointment with my nurse practitioner. She told me that it would be good to start taking prenatal vitamins before I was pregnant. I guess it helps me get healthier. I'm planning on calling today at lunch to set something up.
Just think, in 2 months I will probably be pregnant. I'm having mixed reactions -- first I'm excited then I'm like "yikes!" But I'm ready for that next step in life. Plus, I know Jon is looking forward to a baby. But while I wait, I count the days.
Jon and I decided that in December we would start trying for a baby. I keep looking at the date, counting down until the time we can start. I'm a little nervous. I still have to schedule an appointment with my nurse practitioner. She told me that it would be good to start taking prenatal vitamins before I was pregnant. I guess it helps me get healthier. I'm planning on calling today at lunch to set something up.
Just think, in 2 months I will probably be pregnant. I'm having mixed reactions -- first I'm excited then I'm like "yikes!" But I'm ready for that next step in life. Plus, I know Jon is looking forward to a baby. But while I wait, I count the days.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Breadwinners and Christmas
There's been a lot of coverage on TV regarding the change of the role of women. Women are more and more becoming the breadwinners of the family. My family is no exception. While Jon makes about $18,000 a year, I make double the amount at $36,000. In addition, insurance is run through my company.
Jon and I have discussed our salaries extensively. He doesn't have a problem making less money than me, and I would rather he have a job he loves that makes less than a job he hates that makes more. However, I definitely feel the pressure of having to work.
My current job is definitely not my dream job, but it's a job that pays well and is pretty easy to do. However, there are days when I wish I didn't have to work. I would rather be a stay-at-home mom. Financially, however, that isn't possible.
Today I've been thinking of how to handle our finances. Right now I'm thinking it would be good to get our savings built up. We should have been able to pay for Jon's dental bills with one payment if our savings is what it should be, but instead we will go on a payment plan for that. My biggest conundrum is whether to continue to pay off our Citi credit card or ramp up savings. My goal after the Citi card was paid off is to build up savings, mostly to prepare for maternity leave, but right now I'm really wanting to put some more in savings. I know the benefits of paying off the Citi card include an increased credit score and less interest/fees we will be paying. At the same time, I'm worried about not having enough in savings to cover expenses. But the more I think about it, the better it would be to pay off the Citi card. If we stick to our payment plan we have set up, it will be paid off in 2 months. I guess I just needed to type it to think through it. Just pray nothing happens to us that will affect us financially.
My next concern is Christmas. We have about half of our nieces and nephews shopped for. We spend only about $10 a piece since we have 11 to shop for along with our parents and each other. I really want to get some nice things for Jon, but I worry about money. I can't think of anything I really need for Christmas. I would rather not have a lot of money spent on me. I would like a couple books and an Eiffel Tower lamp and some Eiffel Tower decorations, but that's about it. But it's not the gifts that have me too concerned; it's the decorations.
Jon and I haven't really had a Christmas together. We moved last year over Christmas. We packed everything up on Dec. 23 and drove over the pass to my parents' house where we spent Christmas. We then moved into our apartment the Saturday after Christmas. So last year we didn't really have a need to have decorations, but this year I would like some. I'm not going to buy a lot, just a few. I can slowly add stuff to my collection as the years go by. But the thing I want the most is a fake Christmas tree. (Real trees affect Jon's asthma.) However, those trees can be pricey. Maybe this year we will forgo a tree. Besides, it's not the decorations that make Christmas, it's the birth of Jesus Christ.
Jon and I have discussed our salaries extensively. He doesn't have a problem making less money than me, and I would rather he have a job he loves that makes less than a job he hates that makes more. However, I definitely feel the pressure of having to work.
My current job is definitely not my dream job, but it's a job that pays well and is pretty easy to do. However, there are days when I wish I didn't have to work. I would rather be a stay-at-home mom. Financially, however, that isn't possible.
Today I've been thinking of how to handle our finances. Right now I'm thinking it would be good to get our savings built up. We should have been able to pay for Jon's dental bills with one payment if our savings is what it should be, but instead we will go on a payment plan for that. My biggest conundrum is whether to continue to pay off our Citi credit card or ramp up savings. My goal after the Citi card was paid off is to build up savings, mostly to prepare for maternity leave, but right now I'm really wanting to put some more in savings. I know the benefits of paying off the Citi card include an increased credit score and less interest/fees we will be paying. At the same time, I'm worried about not having enough in savings to cover expenses. But the more I think about it, the better it would be to pay off the Citi card. If we stick to our payment plan we have set up, it will be paid off in 2 months. I guess I just needed to type it to think through it. Just pray nothing happens to us that will affect us financially.
My next concern is Christmas. We have about half of our nieces and nephews shopped for. We spend only about $10 a piece since we have 11 to shop for along with our parents and each other. I really want to get some nice things for Jon, but I worry about money. I can't think of anything I really need for Christmas. I would rather not have a lot of money spent on me. I would like a couple books and an Eiffel Tower lamp and some Eiffel Tower decorations, but that's about it. But it's not the gifts that have me too concerned; it's the decorations.
Jon and I haven't really had a Christmas together. We moved last year over Christmas. We packed everything up on Dec. 23 and drove over the pass to my parents' house where we spent Christmas. We then moved into our apartment the Saturday after Christmas. So last year we didn't really have a need to have decorations, but this year I would like some. I'm not going to buy a lot, just a few. I can slowly add stuff to my collection as the years go by. But the thing I want the most is a fake Christmas tree. (Real trees affect Jon's asthma.) However, those trees can be pricey. Maybe this year we will forgo a tree. Besides, it's not the decorations that make Christmas, it's the birth of Jesus Christ.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Calculating Cavities
This morning Jon went off to the dentist. I anticipated some cavities because he hasn't been to the dentist in 5+ years. The thing I wasn't anticipating was the cost. He has 5 cavities, 3 which are high priority. To fix the first 3 it's going to cost us $425. To fix the next 2, $275. Unfortunately right now money is tight and we can't afford to pay all that upfront. The good thing is there's a thing called CareCredit (www.carecredit.com) that allows us to make payments with no interest. At the same time, these are costs I was not anticipating.My dentist appointment is next week. Let's hope I fair better. I'd like a big ZERO for cavities. I guess in one week we'll find one.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Contentedness and Trust
I had a meltdown yesterday yet again. It seems I have those often lately. I think I'm just too stressed about money, babies, and work. What I need to do is pray and learn to really trust God. I don't know why I can't just do that.
The meltdown began with me not wanting to work out and then feeling sorry for myself about my weight. Soon it melted into my worries about money and wanting to have at least our credit card debt paid off before we have kids, but since I really want a kid, the debt is going to be paid off after, unless we get a sudden influx of cash. That stresses me out so much I've been considering getting a second job. Jon doesn't like that idea.
I was doing some thinking and calculating yesterday, and it looks like we're not going to be able to afford a house for a while, at least not a house that I want long term. I've really had my heart set on that piece of land a couple blocks away from our apartment and the manufactured home I found online. I've even been thinking of what color the rooms will be and how the furniture will be arranged. However, we probably won't have a house until at least baby #3 is coming along, maybe later. It just depends as to how quickly we can pay off our credit cards and get money saved up for a down payment.
Please be praying for me. I'm really struggling with the slowness of debt payment and savings increase.
Sometimes I pray for a check to come in the mail. The amount tends to range from $8,000 to $60,000. I would like the $8,000 to pay off all our credit card debt. I would like the $60,000 to pay off all our debts -- student loans and credit cards. Personally I would love a check of $75,000. That would allow all of our debts to be paid and have some money to put in savings. But the likelihood of that happening is slim to none and being closer to the none.
Jon told me I just need to look at what we do have.
- We own 2 paid off vehicles.
- We each have a lap top.
- We have a roof over our head.
- We have food in the fridge, cupboards, and freezer.
- We have money to meet our monthly obligations.
- We both have jobs.
- We have family who loves us.
- We have each other.
- We have God who provides for us more than we know.
All in all we have it pretty good, actually, better than most. I guess it's just hard to see what we have when I'm looking at what I want. But the thing with money is you will always want more. I just need to learn to be content with what we have.
Contentedness and trust in God -- two things I'm struggling with. Pray for me please.
The meltdown began with me not wanting to work out and then feeling sorry for myself about my weight. Soon it melted into my worries about money and wanting to have at least our credit card debt paid off before we have kids, but since I really want a kid, the debt is going to be paid off after, unless we get a sudden influx of cash. That stresses me out so much I've been considering getting a second job. Jon doesn't like that idea.
I was doing some thinking and calculating yesterday, and it looks like we're not going to be able to afford a house for a while, at least not a house that I want long term. I've really had my heart set on that piece of land a couple blocks away from our apartment and the manufactured home I found online. I've even been thinking of what color the rooms will be and how the furniture will be arranged. However, we probably won't have a house until at least baby #3 is coming along, maybe later. It just depends as to how quickly we can pay off our credit cards and get money saved up for a down payment.
Please be praying for me. I'm really struggling with the slowness of debt payment and savings increase.
Sometimes I pray for a check to come in the mail. The amount tends to range from $8,000 to $60,000. I would like the $8,000 to pay off all our credit card debt. I would like the $60,000 to pay off all our debts -- student loans and credit cards. Personally I would love a check of $75,000. That would allow all of our debts to be paid and have some money to put in savings. But the likelihood of that happening is slim to none and being closer to the none.
Jon told me I just need to look at what we do have.
- We own 2 paid off vehicles.
- We each have a lap top.
- We have a roof over our head.
- We have food in the fridge, cupboards, and freezer.
- We have money to meet our monthly obligations.
- We both have jobs.
- We have family who loves us.
- We have each other.
- We have God who provides for us more than we know.
All in all we have it pretty good, actually, better than most. I guess it's just hard to see what we have when I'm looking at what I want. But the thing with money is you will always want more. I just need to learn to be content with what we have.
Contentedness and trust in God -- two things I'm struggling with. Pray for me please.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Sleepy and Snappy
This week has been a lot different from what I'm used to. I've been waking up tired after getting 7 1/2 to 8 hours of sleep. I've been very snappy and short with people. I've also been very emotional -- I've had a crying melt down on Jon at least twice this week. Usually I would just shrug this all off but now I'm beginning to wonder. Maybe I'm pregnant.
Pregnant. I've been thinking and praying a lot about that. Part of me really wants a baby, but waiting until the timing is right usually wins out. In regards to timing, I mean timing it so Jon is home for the birth. He's busy March - May with rafting and gone about every other week from June - August backpacking. So we want to time it so he's home, preferably September. I know a pregnancy can explain the moodiness and sleepiness. But then again so can stress.
Stress has began to really grow during the last couple months. I've been really stressed about work. I'm not happy at my job, but I don't know what to do. Jon keeps telling me to talk to Sandy (my supervisor) but that scares me. She's not a friendly person and almost everything I don't like about my job relates to her. I've considered writing her an email about how I feel but would that be wrong? I know it would bring up a conversation, and it would be awkward.
I'm also stressed about money. It was always my goal to have our credit cards paid off by the time we have a baby, but now it's looking like it won't get paid off until after. We'll have one paid off this year, but the other won't be paid until 2011. It's stressing me. I know God will provide; I guess I'm just having trouble really trusting Him. A baby would be a great way to grow my trust.
I'm concerned about work after a baby. I know I have to work at least part time, but then I have to figure out daycare. Dani suggested asking around at church for a lady willing to watch my baby during the week. It would be cheaper than going to a daycare and maybe she won't mind watching the baby at our home since all the baby's stuff is here. I'll have to do the math to figure out how many hours I would have to work to cover our medical and still cover our expenses. I just hope medical is still granted for part time employees. But the hours aren't what really concern me.
How long to take for maternity leave is what really concerns me. I need at least one month, but is three months pushing it? After one month should I start coming back one day a week to try and get caught up? Is that too much or not enough? I know that the one day a week option could work because Jon can stay home with the baby on those days if we make a schedule. It's just a matter of whether my employer will accept it. Maybe after 2 months I can come back a couple days a week or maybe start back up at part time. I think I would try and work 5 hours a day: 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. or maybe 9:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. I think I would like that better, but then again, it's what works for my employer that counts.
Wow. It's interesting how I had planned on talking about my stressful week and it turned into baby planning.
Pregnant. I've been thinking and praying a lot about that. Part of me really wants a baby, but waiting until the timing is right usually wins out. In regards to timing, I mean timing it so Jon is home for the birth. He's busy March - May with rafting and gone about every other week from June - August backpacking. So we want to time it so he's home, preferably September. I know a pregnancy can explain the moodiness and sleepiness. But then again so can stress.
Stress has began to really grow during the last couple months. I've been really stressed about work. I'm not happy at my job, but I don't know what to do. Jon keeps telling me to talk to Sandy (my supervisor) but that scares me. She's not a friendly person and almost everything I don't like about my job relates to her. I've considered writing her an email about how I feel but would that be wrong? I know it would bring up a conversation, and it would be awkward.
I'm also stressed about money. It was always my goal to have our credit cards paid off by the time we have a baby, but now it's looking like it won't get paid off until after. We'll have one paid off this year, but the other won't be paid until 2011. It's stressing me. I know God will provide; I guess I'm just having trouble really trusting Him. A baby would be a great way to grow my trust.
I'm concerned about work after a baby. I know I have to work at least part time, but then I have to figure out daycare. Dani suggested asking around at church for a lady willing to watch my baby during the week. It would be cheaper than going to a daycare and maybe she won't mind watching the baby at our home since all the baby's stuff is here. I'll have to do the math to figure out how many hours I would have to work to cover our medical and still cover our expenses. I just hope medical is still granted for part time employees. But the hours aren't what really concern me.
How long to take for maternity leave is what really concerns me. I need at least one month, but is three months pushing it? After one month should I start coming back one day a week to try and get caught up? Is that too much or not enough? I know that the one day a week option could work because Jon can stay home with the baby on those days if we make a schedule. It's just a matter of whether my employer will accept it. Maybe after 2 months I can come back a couple days a week or maybe start back up at part time. I think I would try and work 5 hours a day: 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. or maybe 9:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. I think I would like that better, but then again, it's what works for my employer that counts.
Wow. It's interesting how I had planned on talking about my stressful week and it turned into baby planning.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Not Where I Thought I'd Be
Growing up I have always defined myself as the smart, athletic girl who gets straight A's. In elementary and junior high I pushed myself to be the smart one in the class, though I definitely wasn't the smartest one. I have defined myself according to success -- which chair in jazz band I was, how I did in cross-country and track races, what I was ranked academically, which clubs I was in, and which clubs I held office in. That's who I was and how I measured my success, mostly by comparing myself to others.
In college I had heard of several people going off to college with a certain major in mind and eventually changing it once, twice, or several times. I didn't want to be that person I decided. I wanted to put my mind to something and not change it. That tends to be my downfall. It put me in a career that doesn't satisfy me.
When I was in junior high, I developed a passion for designing houses. I had fun designing houses. Granted at that point I wasn't too creative or using realistic dimensions. In high school I began experimenting with it. I thought it would be fun to take a unique shape, like the letter R, and design a house within that. It made for some fun angles. It was not realistic, but I looked at it as a challenge. Progressively I got better and more realistic. It was a fun hobby for me. I sketched house plans throughout college and even up to a few months ago. I even designed some houses that I want built. It was something I did for fun. Looking back I wish I had gone into architecture. It was something I really enjoyed and felt like I was good at it. But it's not what I'm doing for a career.
My sophomore year of high school I was scheduling my junior year classes and needed a year long class. I decided to take accounting. I'm not sure if I chose it because it was at the top of the list or if I was really interested in it. Needless to say, I ended up in the class. I ended up really enjoying the class. It was fun to take checks and deposits and keep track of it on the books. It was like a challenge to come up with the correct ending number. I'm not sure if it because it was junior year and we were discussing college a lot or what, but I got it into my head that accounting is what I wanted to do with my life. Plus, my teacher kept bringing up the salary a CPA makes and it sounded nice.
I stood by that decision all through college and I graduated with a degree in accounting. I definitely had a talent for it. It seemed to come naturally to me and I did well at it. I certainly didn't push myself to be the best I could be, but I still did well. I did change one thought. I decided I didn't want to be a CPA. I worked for 2 years at a CPA firm and did not like it. Eventually I might change my mind but for now I don't want that career.
I landed my first job as an Accounts Payable Specialist. It wasn't the job I had applied for, but the company that I interviewed with still wanted me on staff. I took it. I learned the basics and did well for myself. I had everything down pat. I was even given a few projects. However, I never felt truly happy or challenged.
A job change for my husband meant a move to Spokane. A coworker at my first job hooked me up with a contact that hired me for an Accounting Assistant position. It sounded like it would be a promising job. My supervisor seemed nice. The work seemed like it would be good. After I got the hang of things I realized how easy the work was. The challenge left and I was left feeling like I should get a different job.
My supervisor wasn't as pleasant as she appeared. She was constantly swearing and complaining. The work was easy and quickly finished. Several times I sat around wondering how I would keep busy. A project I was supposed to start in June didn't get started until August. Once I figured that out though, work became easy again. I was unchallenged yet again. I honestly feel like I could do more with my accounting degree and that the job I'm at is a step down.
I've considered getting a new job. I've considered going back to school. However, my desire for a family, a home, and a debt-free life sidelined all that. Jon and I want to start a family soon and since money is needed to feed and clothe a baby and us, I have to work. Fortunately my supervisor told me she would be fine with me working part time. I don't know if any other employer would be as flexible and right now I'm not willing to risk it.
My career isn't exactly what I want it to be. Maybe once my kids are older I will have figured it out and changed it. I certainly don't plan on staying at this job for my career. It's just a matter of waiting to see what's available and what curve balls life throws.
In college I had heard of several people going off to college with a certain major in mind and eventually changing it once, twice, or several times. I didn't want to be that person I decided. I wanted to put my mind to something and not change it. That tends to be my downfall. It put me in a career that doesn't satisfy me.
When I was in junior high, I developed a passion for designing houses. I had fun designing houses. Granted at that point I wasn't too creative or using realistic dimensions. In high school I began experimenting with it. I thought it would be fun to take a unique shape, like the letter R, and design a house within that. It made for some fun angles. It was not realistic, but I looked at it as a challenge. Progressively I got better and more realistic. It was a fun hobby for me. I sketched house plans throughout college and even up to a few months ago. I even designed some houses that I want built. It was something I did for fun. Looking back I wish I had gone into architecture. It was something I really enjoyed and felt like I was good at it. But it's not what I'm doing for a career.
My sophomore year of high school I was scheduling my junior year classes and needed a year long class. I decided to take accounting. I'm not sure if I chose it because it was at the top of the list or if I was really interested in it. Needless to say, I ended up in the class. I ended up really enjoying the class. It was fun to take checks and deposits and keep track of it on the books. It was like a challenge to come up with the correct ending number. I'm not sure if it because it was junior year and we were discussing college a lot or what, but I got it into my head that accounting is what I wanted to do with my life. Plus, my teacher kept bringing up the salary a CPA makes and it sounded nice.
I stood by that decision all through college and I graduated with a degree in accounting. I definitely had a talent for it. It seemed to come naturally to me and I did well at it. I certainly didn't push myself to be the best I could be, but I still did well. I did change one thought. I decided I didn't want to be a CPA. I worked for 2 years at a CPA firm and did not like it. Eventually I might change my mind but for now I don't want that career.
I landed my first job as an Accounts Payable Specialist. It wasn't the job I had applied for, but the company that I interviewed with still wanted me on staff. I took it. I learned the basics and did well for myself. I had everything down pat. I was even given a few projects. However, I never felt truly happy or challenged.
A job change for my husband meant a move to Spokane. A coworker at my first job hooked me up with a contact that hired me for an Accounting Assistant position. It sounded like it would be a promising job. My supervisor seemed nice. The work seemed like it would be good. After I got the hang of things I realized how easy the work was. The challenge left and I was left feeling like I should get a different job.
My supervisor wasn't as pleasant as she appeared. She was constantly swearing and complaining. The work was easy and quickly finished. Several times I sat around wondering how I would keep busy. A project I was supposed to start in June didn't get started until August. Once I figured that out though, work became easy again. I was unchallenged yet again. I honestly feel like I could do more with my accounting degree and that the job I'm at is a step down.
I've considered getting a new job. I've considered going back to school. However, my desire for a family, a home, and a debt-free life sidelined all that. Jon and I want to start a family soon and since money is needed to feed and clothe a baby and us, I have to work. Fortunately my supervisor told me she would be fine with me working part time. I don't know if any other employer would be as flexible and right now I'm not willing to risk it.
My career isn't exactly what I want it to be. Maybe once my kids are older I will have figured it out and changed it. I certainly don't plan on staying at this job for my career. It's just a matter of waiting to see what's available and what curve balls life throws.
Away for the Weekend
Waking up on Friday I knew Jon would be leaving that morning for western Washington. He won't return until Tuesday. At first I was looking forward to having time to myself. Time to sleep in without being interrupted. Time to watch whatever I wanted on TV. Time for me.
It sounded so wonderful until I got home on Friday and started really missing him. It's funny, you know. When he's constantly around I look forward to moments when I can get my alone time, but when he's gone, I wish he were home. It's not so much as wanting to spend every second with him as it is having him nearby. I am comforted when he is at home. I feel safe.
Saturday I was busy for the most part, but once my shopping was done and I had exercised, I started missing him again. I cried and prayed in bed that night. My biggest worry when he leaves is that he won't come home again. I know I shouldn't borrow trouble, but it's one of my thoughts.
Sunday was probably the hardest day for me. I got ready for church and left. I arrived at church and sat in my usual row. It was the second week in a row that Jon hasn't been there with me. I tried being joyful while I sang, but I wasn't. I was missing Jon too much. I was sad. We had a missionary at church and it ended early. Rather than stay for the lunch I went home. After lunch and relaxing for an hour or so, I drove to my parents' house, which was a nice distraction. However, when I got home I just felt so empty. I wanted Jon to be there and he wasn't. He won't be home until tomorrow. Once the show ended I went to bed feeling sad and alone.
I'm hoping today goes by quickly so I can go home, read my Bible, exercise, watch some TV, and go to bed knowing that Jon comes back tomorrow. I miss him and I want him home. It's just not the same if he's not around.
It sounded so wonderful until I got home on Friday and started really missing him. It's funny, you know. When he's constantly around I look forward to moments when I can get my alone time, but when he's gone, I wish he were home. It's not so much as wanting to spend every second with him as it is having him nearby. I am comforted when he is at home. I feel safe.
Saturday I was busy for the most part, but once my shopping was done and I had exercised, I started missing him again. I cried and prayed in bed that night. My biggest worry when he leaves is that he won't come home again. I know I shouldn't borrow trouble, but it's one of my thoughts.
Sunday was probably the hardest day for me. I got ready for church and left. I arrived at church and sat in my usual row. It was the second week in a row that Jon hasn't been there with me. I tried being joyful while I sang, but I wasn't. I was missing Jon too much. I was sad. We had a missionary at church and it ended early. Rather than stay for the lunch I went home. After lunch and relaxing for an hour or so, I drove to my parents' house, which was a nice distraction. However, when I got home I just felt so empty. I wanted Jon to be there and he wasn't. He won't be home until tomorrow. Once the show ended I went to bed feeling sad and alone.
I'm hoping today goes by quickly so I can go home, read my Bible, exercise, watch some TV, and go to bed knowing that Jon comes back tomorrow. I miss him and I want him home. It's just not the same if he's not around.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Wedding Do-Overs
Last year I married a man I had dating for four years. We met after I graduated high school and started dating after knowing each other for only a couple weeks. We dated 3 years, were engaged for 1 year, and finally got married after I graduated college last year. It was a fun day!
This summer I have had several friends get married. Then they posted their pictures on Facebook, and I was jealous. I could tell several of them hired professional photographers. I hired a friend who was really good at photography, although it's not his career. I was supposed to have a former pastor do it, but his nephew got married the same weekend in California. I couldn't help but look at my friends' photos and be jealous. They were so amazing!
Jon and I got married at a camp. We had met at that camp, worked there, and ended up living there for 7 months after we were married. It was the perfect place for us. We had a lot of fun pictures -- swinging on swings, going up and down on a teeter-totter, sitting on the slide, and ringing the chapel bell.
My regret with pictures is that we didn't get a lot of group ones in places other than the gazebo my dad made and by the fence (with snow-capped mountains in the background). I wish we would have had a more ideas of what kind of pictures to do and where to do them. I wish we had discussed with our friend and showed him pictures of what we wanted. But all in all, I like our pictures. But there are some poses I would have also liked.
The next regret relates to our thank you cards. We never did them. Right after we got back, I started a new job and we were busy with the summer camp program. Jon was going to bed early because he worked 2 jobs. I wanted him to help me write them, so I used that an excuse for me to not do them. We finally got started on them in November, 6 months after we were married, but we never finished. We moved in December and tossed the cards we had written. Now it's too late to write them and mail them. I would feel like a schmuck. Besides, everyone except my grandma has probably forgot. Looking back now I wish I had just written the cards myself and mailed them right after we got back.
Another do-over I have is the guest list. I was so intent on inviting no more than 300 people, thinking they would all come. However, only about 1/3 of the people came. Looking back I should have invited all of my college friends instead of the few I did invite. I should have invited anyone and everyone. After all, there was more than enough food and who knows how many more gifts we would have received. :)
Those are just a couple do-overs I would make regarding our wedding. But, all in all, I am pleased with our wedding day. I got married to Jon, which was the whole point of the day, and my close family and friends were there.
This summer I have had several friends get married. Then they posted their pictures on Facebook, and I was jealous. I could tell several of them hired professional photographers. I hired a friend who was really good at photography, although it's not his career. I was supposed to have a former pastor do it, but his nephew got married the same weekend in California. I couldn't help but look at my friends' photos and be jealous. They were so amazing!
Jon and I got married at a camp. We had met at that camp, worked there, and ended up living there for 7 months after we were married. It was the perfect place for us. We had a lot of fun pictures -- swinging on swings, going up and down on a teeter-totter, sitting on the slide, and ringing the chapel bell.
My regret with pictures is that we didn't get a lot of group ones in places other than the gazebo my dad made and by the fence (with snow-capped mountains in the background). I wish we would have had a more ideas of what kind of pictures to do and where to do them. I wish we had discussed with our friend and showed him pictures of what we wanted. But all in all, I like our pictures. But there are some poses I would have also liked.
The next regret relates to our thank you cards. We never did them. Right after we got back, I started a new job and we were busy with the summer camp program. Jon was going to bed early because he worked 2 jobs. I wanted him to help me write them, so I used that an excuse for me to not do them. We finally got started on them in November, 6 months after we were married, but we never finished. We moved in December and tossed the cards we had written. Now it's too late to write them and mail them. I would feel like a schmuck. Besides, everyone except my grandma has probably forgot. Looking back now I wish I had just written the cards myself and mailed them right after we got back.
Another do-over I have is the guest list. I was so intent on inviting no more than 300 people, thinking they would all come. However, only about 1/3 of the people came. Looking back I should have invited all of my college friends instead of the few I did invite. I should have invited anyone and everyone. After all, there was more than enough food and who knows how many more gifts we would have received. :)
Those are just a couple do-overs I would make regarding our wedding. But, all in all, I am pleased with our wedding day. I got married to Jon, which was the whole point of the day, and my close family and friends were there.
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Tick of the Clock
Since my discussion with Jon last night and our decision to start trying for a baby in December, I find myself constantly thinking about it. I've started researching maternity leave, researching child care, and even looking online at baby and parent stuff. I even went online to look at cribs and changing tables. I'm really excited for a baby.
Now my problem is waiting until December, or rather waiting until the pregnancy test comes out with a sign that a baby is on the way.
I really want to start looking at baby things and planning, but I don't want to get anyone's hopes up. Plus, it's a bit pre-mature considering we're not trying for another couple months. But I'm still excited about our decision. And yet, I can't tell anyone about it just yet. I would love to tell Dani or Jamie or my parents, but the time is just not right.
Why does it seem that when you're waiting for something, time ticks by slowly?
Now my problem is waiting until December, or rather waiting until the pregnancy test comes out with a sign that a baby is on the way.
I really want to start looking at baby things and planning, but I don't want to get anyone's hopes up. Plus, it's a bit pre-mature considering we're not trying for another couple months. But I'm still excited about our decision. And yet, I can't tell anyone about it just yet. I would love to tell Dani or Jamie or my parents, but the time is just not right.
Why does it seem that when you're waiting for something, time ticks by slowly?
December/January
Jon came home yesterday from a backpacking trip in Idaho. I was so excited he was home, but he had caught my cold, so he wasn't his usual self. However, I waited on him hand and foot making sure he had everything he needed. Later that evening I told him I want a baby.
We started discussing it seriously. I told him of my concerns about our debt and savings. I also told him that it would be best to have the baby born in September because then he will be home for the season during the baby's first couple months. He liked that idea, which means we need to try an conceive in December or January to have a fall baby. I'm really excited about that prospect.
I've been thinking about when would be the best time to conceive so we can announce it to everyone. I was hoping to know before the family Christmas gathering, but then we run the risk of having an August baby, which conflicts with Jon's backpacking season. I think the best time to do it would be to announce it at my birthday in January. That way I can choose who to invite to the party and announce it to my family and close friends. I'm already thinking about who will be at the party.
I know it's only 3 months away until we start trying for a baby, but I'm really excited (and a little nervous). I'm just hoping the money situation works out.
I'm trying to think about when would be the best amount of maternity leave for me. Personally I would love to take the 3 months allowed by the law, but I don't think I could do that if it wasn't paid. We're planning on having about $6,500 set aside in savings to cover a little more than 3 months worth of expenses, in case I don't get any paid leave. I doubt my boss is going to give me paid maternity leave, but it doesn't hurt to ask. I will have a week of paid vacation I can use if there isn't any. (Please pray that I get at least 1 month paid leave!)
I've been considering how to keep up with my workload during those 3 months. Maybe what I can do is arrange with Jon to take one day off during the week to stay at home with the baby, so I can go to work for a day to get some stuff done. Also, maybe I can arrange to do some work at home, such as the financials. All I would have to do is get Internet at home and get access to Yardi (which is Internet based) and my email. The email isn't as important either, just Yardi. I would just come in once a week and grab a few of the binders to take home with me. Most likely they won't let me do that option, but I can always ask. I really think the one day a week idea will work. If I need to come in more, I could just bring the baby in with me on a Saturday and work. That way there are less people in the office (if any), and I can be here to get some work done.
The next thing to consider is day care. Unfortunately, Jon doesn't make enough for me to be a stay-at-home mom, so I'm going to have to work at least part time to help supplement our income. Fortunately, my supervisor already told me she would be willing to let me work part time (she doesn't want to lose me). But then I have to consider where to take my baby for day care. I need something affordable but good. I've considered those KinderCare Learning Center, mostly because there is one on my way to work and they tend to be more educationally driven, which is something I like. But I guess I will do more research later.
I'm so excited! Can't you tell?!
We started discussing it seriously. I told him of my concerns about our debt and savings. I also told him that it would be best to have the baby born in September because then he will be home for the season during the baby's first couple months. He liked that idea, which means we need to try an conceive in December or January to have a fall baby. I'm really excited about that prospect.
I've been thinking about when would be the best time to conceive so we can announce it to everyone. I was hoping to know before the family Christmas gathering, but then we run the risk of having an August baby, which conflicts with Jon's backpacking season. I think the best time to do it would be to announce it at my birthday in January. That way I can choose who to invite to the party and announce it to my family and close friends. I'm already thinking about who will be at the party.
I know it's only 3 months away until we start trying for a baby, but I'm really excited (and a little nervous). I'm just hoping the money situation works out.
I'm trying to think about when would be the best amount of maternity leave for me. Personally I would love to take the 3 months allowed by the law, but I don't think I could do that if it wasn't paid. We're planning on having about $6,500 set aside in savings to cover a little more than 3 months worth of expenses, in case I don't get any paid leave. I doubt my boss is going to give me paid maternity leave, but it doesn't hurt to ask. I will have a week of paid vacation I can use if there isn't any. (Please pray that I get at least 1 month paid leave!)
I've been considering how to keep up with my workload during those 3 months. Maybe what I can do is arrange with Jon to take one day off during the week to stay at home with the baby, so I can go to work for a day to get some stuff done. Also, maybe I can arrange to do some work at home, such as the financials. All I would have to do is get Internet at home and get access to Yardi (which is Internet based) and my email. The email isn't as important either, just Yardi. I would just come in once a week and grab a few of the binders to take home with me. Most likely they won't let me do that option, but I can always ask. I really think the one day a week idea will work. If I need to come in more, I could just bring the baby in with me on a Saturday and work. That way there are less people in the office (if any), and I can be here to get some work done.
The next thing to consider is day care. Unfortunately, Jon doesn't make enough for me to be a stay-at-home mom, so I'm going to have to work at least part time to help supplement our income. Fortunately, my supervisor already told me she would be willing to let me work part time (she doesn't want to lose me). But then I have to consider where to take my baby for day care. I need something affordable but good. I've considered those KinderCare Learning Center, mostly because there is one on my way to work and they tend to be more educationally driven, which is something I like. But I guess I will do more research later.
I'm so excited! Can't you tell?!
Friday, September 25, 2009
A Baby, A House, and A Dog.
I got it into my head when I was a kid that someday I wanted to own a house, have a dog, and have a baby. Of course, I knew I had to be older and married to get all three. Well, I'm married now and I don't have any of those things.
The next thing is a house. Our goal is to pay off our debt and start drastically saving for a down payment. By drastic, I mean saving about $1,000 a month until we get enough for a down payment and still have some money in savings for emergencies. I've realized that most likely our first baby is going to come while we still live in an apartment. Fortunately, our one bedroom apartment has a den that we can use as a baby room. I would have to move the desk, filing cabinets, and my sewing stuff elsewhere, but it's doable. I just wish it were possible to have a house bought before a baby is born.
The advantages of having a house after the baby is born is that we will probably have downsized some of our items to accommodate the baby. Plus, I will be making less money (I will be working part time), and we will be better able to determine what we really can afford. I have my heart set on a one-acre parcel a few blocks from our apartment. It's on the market for $70,000, but it was last assessed at $47,500, which will allow for a better bargaining chip. We've decided that we want to buy a piece of land, at least an acre big, and put a manufactured home on it. Then later in life we will build the "dream house" on one half of it. I grew up on an acre parcel so smaller parcels are too small for my preferences. While I still want that certain parcel, we plan on talking to a realtor and having him or her find exactly what we want for exactly the right price.
A Dog:
Aside from a house and a baby, a dog is next on my life. Actually, 2 dogs, and not just any dog, but a Siberian Husky. I had one growing up and I've always loved that breed of dog. I also had an Alaskan Malamute, but those tend to run at least $300 more for one puppy. I want a puppy so I can train them young to obey my commands. I want two unrelated puppies, one male and one female, so I can have puppies. Selling puppies would allow us a little extra income too. However, I don't want inside dogs; they will be outside dogs. And since our current living situation is in an apartment, we won't be getting pups until we have a house. And even when that happens we probably won't get puppies until all the kids are born and our good-sized kennel is built.
While I don't have a house, a dog, or a baby, I don't consider myself a failure. I know that some day I will have all 3. It may take a while to get them all, but I will still be happy with where I am at in life. I may not like my job, but I love Jon, I love Spokane, I love my church and serving there, and I love being the favorite aunt to many nieces and nephews. I know that in time I will have a baby, a house, and a dog. It's just a matter of waiting.
A Baby:
I've always been a planner. I plan my birthday party a month or two in advance. I plan how I will spend each day. I plan what meals I'm making on which day. I plan everything. When I started dating Jon, I decided I wanted to wait 4 years after we were married to have kids. That has since changed.
First I did the math and realized I would be 26 if I waited 4 years, and I would be over 30 by the time the 4 kids I want are born. Second, I changed. I want kids sooner. It could be that my brothers are having kids recently -- one on Christmas and another one due for a different brother in March. Regardless of what exactly made me change my mind, it changed.
Jon and I discussed trying to time our baby to come during the part of the year when his job is less demanding -- September to February. That means conception time is from December to May. However, right now it's September, and I keep wishing I were pregnant. Part of me thinks how easily it would be to "forget" to take my pill, but the practical part of me thinks I need to wait until the timing is right. So wait I must, but maybe for only a couple months. I'm really liking the idea of getting pregnant in December, announcing it at Christmas, and having the baby born in September. This way Jon's busy season will be over for the most part and he will be able to spend more time at home with me and the baby. If the baby is born in February, Jon's rafting season starts in March and he will be busy and not home much.
The only worry I have is our credit card debt. Right now if we keep to our scheduled payment plan, we will have it paid off by September, hence my reason to wait a little longer to conceive. But, I'm hoping that my Christmas bonus and our tax return will be large enough to decrease that time frame, but we'll have to wait and see. Most likely we won't conceive until February, just to allow a little time for debt to be paid off and to ensure Jon will be home in case the baby comes early.
A House:
The next thing is a house. Our goal is to pay off our debt and start drastically saving for a down payment. By drastic, I mean saving about $1,000 a month until we get enough for a down payment and still have some money in savings for emergencies. I've realized that most likely our first baby is going to come while we still live in an apartment. Fortunately, our one bedroom apartment has a den that we can use as a baby room. I would have to move the desk, filing cabinets, and my sewing stuff elsewhere, but it's doable. I just wish it were possible to have a house bought before a baby is born.
The advantages of having a house after the baby is born is that we will probably have downsized some of our items to accommodate the baby. Plus, I will be making less money (I will be working part time), and we will be better able to determine what we really can afford. I have my heart set on a one-acre parcel a few blocks from our apartment. It's on the market for $70,000, but it was last assessed at $47,500, which will allow for a better bargaining chip. We've decided that we want to buy a piece of land, at least an acre big, and put a manufactured home on it. Then later in life we will build the "dream house" on one half of it. I grew up on an acre parcel so smaller parcels are too small for my preferences. While I still want that certain parcel, we plan on talking to a realtor and having him or her find exactly what we want for exactly the right price.
A Dog:
Aside from a house and a baby, a dog is next on my life. Actually, 2 dogs, and not just any dog, but a Siberian Husky. I had one growing up and I've always loved that breed of dog. I also had an Alaskan Malamute, but those tend to run at least $300 more for one puppy. I want a puppy so I can train them young to obey my commands. I want two unrelated puppies, one male and one female, so I can have puppies. Selling puppies would allow us a little extra income too. However, I don't want inside dogs; they will be outside dogs. And since our current living situation is in an apartment, we won't be getting pups until we have a house. And even when that happens we probably won't get puppies until all the kids are born and our good-sized kennel is built.
While I don't have a house, a dog, or a baby, I don't consider myself a failure. I know that some day I will have all 3. It may take a while to get them all, but I will still be happy with where I am at in life. I may not like my job, but I love Jon, I love Spokane, I love my church and serving there, and I love being the favorite aunt to many nieces and nephews. I know that in time I will have a baby, a house, and a dog. It's just a matter of waiting.
Monday, September 21, 2009
What To Do, Oh, What To Do?
Today I returned to work after a week long vacation in beautiful Banff, Alberta. The vacation was wonderful! Camping, hiking, sightseeing, and just enjoying time with my husband. It was a great trip. However, like most vacations, the time came that it was over and I had to return to work.
Today is my first day back after vacation, and I'm already bored. I got caught up on emails and social websites. Still bored. I have things I'm working on, but I find myself getting completely bored with it. I started thinking yet again about finding a different job. My work doesn't interest me. I find myself getting bored with it. Plus I feel under utilized and under paid. I'm not a CPA, but I have an accounting degree, and I feel that my job is a step down from a degree, something I could have done as a freshman in college.
I've run into this small wall over and over again. Maybe this time I should climb up, survey my options, and look for a new job to jump into. I know I'm not happy here, but I know Jon wouldn't be too pleased about me getting a new job, mostly because we plan to start trying for a family soon and my supervisor already told me I can work part time for her. Jon wants me to stick it out, gain experience for a while, and then after a while go for a different job. But he wants me here until our kids are all born. I understand the wisdom in that, but at the same time, I don't like it here.
What to do, oh, what to do?
Today is my first day back after vacation, and I'm already bored. I got caught up on emails and social websites. Still bored. I have things I'm working on, but I find myself getting completely bored with it. I started thinking yet again about finding a different job. My work doesn't interest me. I find myself getting bored with it. Plus I feel under utilized and under paid. I'm not a CPA, but I have an accounting degree, and I feel that my job is a step down from a degree, something I could have done as a freshman in college.
I've run into this small wall over and over again. Maybe this time I should climb up, survey my options, and look for a new job to jump into. I know I'm not happy here, but I know Jon wouldn't be too pleased about me getting a new job, mostly because we plan to start trying for a family soon and my supervisor already told me I can work part time for her. Jon wants me to stick it out, gain experience for a while, and then after a while go for a different job. But he wants me here until our kids are all born. I understand the wisdom in that, but at the same time, I don't like it here.
What to do, oh, what to do?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Thinking of Kids Yet Again
It seems like my mind is constantly thinking of kids and money. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe it's time for me to have a baby.
I had another meltdown yesterday. I was watching a movie with Jon thinking about kids and how I am going to have to work when we have kids. Like I've said before, Jon doesn't make enough to support just the two of us with his paycheck. It's so discouraging. I know I want to have a family and I want to be a stay at home mom, at least until they are in school all day. It just makes me so sad knowing that isn't an option for us. I don't even have family close by who can help watch the kids, so they will have to be in day care.
We discussed when to have our baby. We want to time it so the baby isn't born during rafting or backpacking season. That means we have to conceive between the months of December and May. We're planning on conceiving this next year. At first it kind of freaked me out to think that in 8 months I will be pregnant. (We're planning for a May conception.) I want to conceive in May, mostly because then we will have a few months to finish paying off our debts and get some money set aside. However, right now I'm thinking it might be nice to be pregnant in December and have a baby next year in September. The only problem I see with that is that we may not have our credit cards all paid off and money set aside. Most likely it will be next spring that we will start a family.
I'm a little scared. I know that once it happens there is no turning back. I also know that it will require a GREAT deal of trust in God to supply our income. I'm nervous about physically having a baby. I know it's going to hurt, but I know it's part of the process. I'm planning on asking Dani if I can be in the room while she's having her baby so I'm a little more familiar with the process.
I've been praying a lot about this situation. Please pray for me too.
I had another meltdown yesterday. I was watching a movie with Jon thinking about kids and how I am going to have to work when we have kids. Like I've said before, Jon doesn't make enough to support just the two of us with his paycheck. It's so discouraging. I know I want to have a family and I want to be a stay at home mom, at least until they are in school all day. It just makes me so sad knowing that isn't an option for us. I don't even have family close by who can help watch the kids, so they will have to be in day care.
We discussed when to have our baby. We want to time it so the baby isn't born during rafting or backpacking season. That means we have to conceive between the months of December and May. We're planning on conceiving this next year. At first it kind of freaked me out to think that in 8 months I will be pregnant. (We're planning for a May conception.) I want to conceive in May, mostly because then we will have a few months to finish paying off our debts and get some money set aside. However, right now I'm thinking it might be nice to be pregnant in December and have a baby next year in September. The only problem I see with that is that we may not have our credit cards all paid off and money set aside. Most likely it will be next spring that we will start a family.
I'm a little scared. I know that once it happens there is no turning back. I also know that it will require a GREAT deal of trust in God to supply our income. I'm nervous about physically having a baby. I know it's going to hurt, but I know it's part of the process. I'm planning on asking Dani if I can be in the room while she's having her baby so I'm a little more familiar with the process.
I've been praying a lot about this situation. Please pray for me too.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Thinking of Kids
The thought came like it has come several times in the past. "I want to have a baby." I'm not even sure what triggered it. It might have been my book. It had mentioned a couple trying to have a baby unsuccessfully and another couple's boy being caught on a bridge when it broke in flood waters. Despite the trigger, I stood up with a downcast face. My husband recognized the face and asked what was wrong.
"I want to have a baby, but we can't." The "can't" is due to the fact that I don't want to have a baby until our credit cards are paid off, which should be next year. The reason is because I want as little payment obligations as possible because once we have the baby, I'm down to working part time instead of full time. (Unfortunately my husband doesn't make enough money to support us on his paycheck alone -- but at least he loves his job and I'd rather have that than a lot of money.)
Lately I've been wishing for a sudden influx of money. My dream would be $70,000. We have about $66,000 in debt, so the extra 4 would go towards our savings. Most likely that won't happen, but I can still hope. Having our debt completely paid off would free up so many options. I could have a baby and not be as stressed about money. We could save for a house sooner. Both are things I really want.
Every time these thoughts pass through my mind I start doing the math yet again, even though I know the outcome. I calculate all the payments we have to make -- student loans, rent, utilities, insurance, phone, gas, groceries, credit cards, and tithing -- and then the income we need. Every time I look at the numbers I get discouraged. I look at my debt repayment plan I made and see how long it's going to take to pay off our debts, and I get discouraged. A big part of me just wants to erase the debt payments and go from there, but the likelihood of that is slim to none.
Jon and I have been told by someone wise, Jack Moyer, to not wait until you're financially stable to have kids because you'll never be there. That thought constantly pops into my head; I only want our credit cards paid off, not all our debts or a certain amount in savings before we have kids.
It seems that everything always filters back to money. I guess because my brain is financially wired, these things always flow down to the money. I need to work on trusting God more with my finances. Everything I have, I have because of Him, and really it doesn't belong to me, but to him. I'm just managing it.
"I want to have a baby, but we can't." The "can't" is due to the fact that I don't want to have a baby until our credit cards are paid off, which should be next year. The reason is because I want as little payment obligations as possible because once we have the baby, I'm down to working part time instead of full time. (Unfortunately my husband doesn't make enough money to support us on his paycheck alone -- but at least he loves his job and I'd rather have that than a lot of money.)
Lately I've been wishing for a sudden influx of money. My dream would be $70,000. We have about $66,000 in debt, so the extra 4 would go towards our savings. Most likely that won't happen, but I can still hope. Having our debt completely paid off would free up so many options. I could have a baby and not be as stressed about money. We could save for a house sooner. Both are things I really want.
Every time these thoughts pass through my mind I start doing the math yet again, even though I know the outcome. I calculate all the payments we have to make -- student loans, rent, utilities, insurance, phone, gas, groceries, credit cards, and tithing -- and then the income we need. Every time I look at the numbers I get discouraged. I look at my debt repayment plan I made and see how long it's going to take to pay off our debts, and I get discouraged. A big part of me just wants to erase the debt payments and go from there, but the likelihood of that is slim to none.
Jon and I have been told by someone wise, Jack Moyer, to not wait until you're financially stable to have kids because you'll never be there. That thought constantly pops into my head; I only want our credit cards paid off, not all our debts or a certain amount in savings before we have kids.
It seems that everything always filters back to money. I guess because my brain is financially wired, these things always flow down to the money. I need to work on trusting God more with my finances. Everything I have, I have because of Him, and really it doesn't belong to me, but to him. I'm just managing it.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Future
I can't even begin to count the number of times I sit around thinking of the future. When will my debts be paid off? When will I get to buy a house? Where will the house be? When should I have children? What if I wait too long to have kids? Is this the job I'm going to have for a long time? What does my future hold for me?
I'm sure most people have had thoughts along the same lines. I keep having the same thoughts run through my mind over and over again. The money questions come when the checkbook is showing a smaller number than I want. The kid questions come whenever someone asks me when are Jon and I going to have kids or when I see a baby or a pregnant woman. The job questions come usually on Mondays or when I'm working on something particularly boring.
The uncertainty of the future can be overwhelming, but then I think, if I knew everything, where would the excitement be?
I'm a planner. Always has been, always will be. I like to know the what, when, and where of a vacation. I like to know when my debts will be paid off if I stick to a certain payment plan. I like to know when things are going to happen or what I will be doing. I don't plan every second, minute, or hour of my day, but I like to have a general idea; however, I am open to spontaneity.
The purpose of starting this blog is for me to write out my dreams, worries, and ideas, keeping in mind that you never know when God's going to throw you a curve ball and change the outcome of the game.
I'm sure most people have had thoughts along the same lines. I keep having the same thoughts run through my mind over and over again. The money questions come when the checkbook is showing a smaller number than I want. The kid questions come whenever someone asks me when are Jon and I going to have kids or when I see a baby or a pregnant woman. The job questions come usually on Mondays or when I'm working on something particularly boring.
The uncertainty of the future can be overwhelming, but then I think, if I knew everything, where would the excitement be?
I'm a planner. Always has been, always will be. I like to know the what, when, and where of a vacation. I like to know when my debts will be paid off if I stick to a certain payment plan. I like to know when things are going to happen or what I will be doing. I don't plan every second, minute, or hour of my day, but I like to have a general idea; however, I am open to spontaneity.
The purpose of starting this blog is for me to write out my dreams, worries, and ideas, keeping in mind that you never know when God's going to throw you a curve ball and change the outcome of the game.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)